Searching Nocturne
by Lachenna
Summary: Allison Walker has never fit in anywhere, so she has decided that college is the perfect time to do something about that. Life as "Allen" is going better than she could have ever imagined, but what happens when she meets the impossibly attractive Kanda Yuu? Modern AU. Female Allen. Yullen.
1. Prologue

A/N: I've decided I need to post some of my backlog of unfinished stories, and this is one of them. This story won't be updated with any sort of regularity; instead of being on a schedule like my main stories, it will be updated whenever I feel like it. Basically, I'll update it based on how it's received. If you like it, please review it; I'm more likely to work on this story and update it if I feel like people want to read it.

As stated in the description, this story is a Modern AU, Yullen, with a female Allen, and there will be lemons. This story is going to have much shorter chapters than my others - averaging 1000 words a chapter rather than 2500 or 3000. There will also be hints of LavixLenalee, but as of right now, I have no intention to take it any further than just hints.

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Allison Walker sighed as she checked the time on her phone. She shoved her books into her bag, threw on her coat, and made her way out of the library. With any luck, she'd be able to get to class without any of her friends making her late.

It was a stupid wish as she had the worst luck of anyone ever.

Lavi just happened to be entering the library right as she was leaving it. The moment he saw Allison, the redhead threw one arm around her shoulders and used the other to tousle her short white hair. "Yo, Allen! Whatcha up to?"

Allison tried to shrug off the embrace, silently groaning at the reminder that she was only liked around campus because everyone thought she was a boy. "I'm heading to class, Lavi. I don't want to be late and piss off my lab partner."

Lavi laughed and tightened his hold on his friend's shoulders. "Good luck with that. Everything pisses off Yuu-chan. You're upsetting him simply by being his lab partner."

"Do you think I don't know that?" Allison snorted. "If I could get out of it, I would. I don't want to be Kanda's partner any more than he wants to be mine. The guy's got a stick up his arse."

The redhead smartly pulled away when the younger's British accent came out. It didn't surface very often, but when it did, it was a sure fire sign that Allen was angry. And when Allen was angry, bad things happened.

Allison frowned to herself as she stalked away from Lavi and began her trek to the science building. The redhead had reminded her of her ongoing feud with the hottest guy on campus, and she was not happy about that. Because all that did was make her think about her crush on said lab partner and how nothing could ever happen between them. Because, like everyone else on campus, Kanda Yuu knew Allison Walker as Allen Walker.

When Allison finally navigated the maze-like halls of the science building and reached her classroom, the instructor was already at the white board, going over the instructions for the day's lab. She managed to slip in unnoticed by the teacher, quickly finding her seat next to the tall Japanese man who had been glaring at her from the moment she entered the room. "You're late, Moyashi."


	2. Chapter 1: Kanda

A/N: Here's the first official chapter. It's Kanda's perspective on what's happening with Allison – we'll get to her perspective in Chapter 2.

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My life so far had been relatively decent, from an objective perspective. I complained a lot, but aside from the traumatic incident in my childhood that had left me in Teidoll's care with almost no memories and a dead best friend, things weren't all that bad for me. I had everything a child would need: food, shelter, clothing, friends, and family.

That didn't stop me from hating every single second of my home life though. Teidoll was overbearing and always sticking his nose in my business. Daisya was obnoxious and didn't seem to understand the words "leave me alone". Marie was the most tolerable member of my adoptive family, but his blindness had made him overly perceptive and he had an annoying tendency to psychoanalyze me. All in all, I couldn't wait to turn eighteen and leave that house behind.

I got decent enough grades in high school to go unnoticed by the teachers, and I was athletic enough to stay off the bullies' radars; it was what I wanted, to blend in and get out of there as soon as fucking possible. Except that, by some cruel twist of fate, everyone thought I was attractive. High school was a lot harder to get through with everyone fawning over me like that. The idiots even elected me to the homecoming court one year, as if I needed another reason to not go to that stupid dance. So I learned to swear, and I picked fights with anyone, guy or girl, who got too close or too annoying. I ended up in the counselor's office a few times for my "attitude problem", but I finally got the peace and quiet that I wanted. Only Lavi and Lenalee, who I had known since childhood and therefore tolerated, were allowed to be near me.

I had only applied to college because Teidoll had nagged me into doing it. I hadn't planned on going; attending school for another four years seemed like a very obnoxious waste of time. But when one of the universities offered me a full scholarship for my martial arts achievements, even I could see that the opportunity was too good to pass up, so I caved to Teidoll's wishes and went to college.

My first year at university was just as annoying as high school had been. Except that it was for an entirely different reason, as fate continued to be cruel to me: Lavi was not only at the same school, but the idiot rabbit was also my school-assigned roommate. Fortunately, he was an incurable flirt, and if he wasn't studying in the library, he was out trying to pick up women. I basically had our dorm room to myself.

In contrast to the rabbit's glowing nightlife, my social life consisted of schoolwork and martial arts classes. I got my first ever academic A that year though, and to my surprise, I had actually enjoyed the class. Lavi teased me nonstop for three weeks when he found out that I was considering majoring in botany, but I didn't care that he thought it was stupid. For the first time in my life, I was actually enjoying learning something that wasn't a new way to hit people.

Things got both better and worse sophomore year. Classes were better now that I wasn't taking only gen-eds; I was actually taking some of the requirements for my major, and those classes were quite enjoyable. And while I was still stuck sharing a dorm room with Lavi (this time by choice - better the devil you know), Lenalee joined us at school, and her presence calmed the rabbit down considerably.

Sophomore year was also the year when Allen Walker came into my life and turned everything completely upside down.

The white haired teen was in Lenalee's religious studies class and they had hit it off during the very first class. For some inexplicable reason, she took that to mean that she should bring him along when she hung out with me and Lavi later that day.

My first impression of Allen was that he was unimpressive. The brat looked far too young to be in college, so either he was one of those incredibly gifted kids who skipped like five grades or he hadn't gone through puberty yet. Either one was a good enough reason for me to hate him. I just knew that if he became part of our social circle, I was going to get stuck as the brat's babysitter.

But then he opened his mouth for the first time and my opinion about him changed. Allen was polite and mature; he may have looked like a junior high school student, but university was clearly where he belonged. He was far more grown up than Lavi or I were.

And yet he could swear like a sailor and was as stubborn as a mule. I found that out the hard way when I referred to him as 'Moyashi' because he looked like a bean sprout with his short white hair and skinny frame. He swore at me in Japanese, which was impressive, but at the time it only pissed me off, and the fight that followed cleared the entire dining hall.

As angry as I was at the time, I actually enjoyed interacting with the Moyashi more than anyone else in my life. Maybe being friends with the brat wouldn't be so bad. Despite the fact that we disagreed on absolutely everything, Allen Walker was undeniably fun to hang out with.

The next couple of days passed in much the same manner, the two of us arguing with each other whenever we crossed paths, which was quite a lot, as it turned out that we lived in the same dorm building. But then Thursday night rolled around.

I had been looking forward to that judo class ever since the addition of the program was announced; despite my mastery of several martial arts, judo was one I hadn't had much opportunity to study before. It was just my luck that the Moyashi was taking the class too.

Our arguing at the start of class prompted the instructor to pair us together for the exercises. I had known that Allen was strong from how physical our fights had been, but I wasn't expecting him to be _that_ good. He bested me more than once during the two hour class, and I'm not talking about when the drills required me to take the fall. Allen actually, legitimately, took me down. It wounded my pride, but there was a sparkle in his stormy grey eyes that made me not mind so much.

It wasn't until I reached my room that night that I realized why that was: I had a crush on the idiot Moyashi.

That realization would throw my whole life into complete disarray. Allen was cute and fun to be around; I didn't mind being attracted to him. He wasn't the problem. It was the fact that he was a _he_ that was the problem.

I was _not_ gay.

So why did my first crush have to be on a guy?

It didn't go away as I got to know Allen either. Especially when we ended up as lab partners spring semester. The more we hung out, the more enamored with him I became. As a result, I spent the entirety of sophomore year questioning my sexuality.

I was not gay. I was absolutely certain of that fact. And despite what Lavi may have been telling everyone, I was not asexual either. I was completely, one hundred percent straight. I was not, and never had been, attracted to men in any way.

Except for Allen. I wanted to do things to that boy that I had never wanted to do to another person before.

It completely screwed with my head. At one point, I decided that maybe I was wrong about myself and went out to a gay bar. After what happened there, I was more certain than ever that I was straight. But then I bumped into Allen at lunch the next day. We exchanged our usual insults, and by the time the meal was over, I was back to being confused.

As ridiculous as it sounded, it seemed like the one thing I needed for my life to make sense again was for the Moyashi to be a woman.


	3. Chapter 2: Allison

A/N: And here's Allen's perspective! Hopefully it answers a lot of your questions as to why she's pretending to be a guy.

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Puberty had not been kind to me. At eighteen, I was supposed to at least look like a woman. I didn't care for the sexualized image of an attractive woman being someone who had large breasts, wide hips, and a tiny waist, but I was flat as a board and thin as a rail. I had absolutely no curves to speak of. And any curves would have been better than what I had been given, including that unrealistic image. Instead of looking like a hot young college girl, I looked like a prepubescent teenage boy.

Granted, that wasn't completely biology's fault. I was at least partially to blame due to the short cut of my white hair and my utter lack of interest in anything even remotely related to fashion and makeup. And that car accident I was in all those years ago certainly hadn't helped. The scar running down the left side of my face and my disfigured left arm made me look a lot more masculine than I probably would have looked otherwise. My height was the worst part though. At 5'10", I was taller than all the girls around me by quite a lot, and that was undoubtedly the root of the common misconception that I was male.

When you added in my obsession with eating, my competitive streak, and the fact that I could kick anyone's butt in any sport, it really was no wonder that everyone I had ever met just assumed that I was a boy.

After Mana died, I was placed in foster care. I spent middle school living with an alcoholic womanizer by the name of Cross Marian. He was constantly lecturing me about how I should act more like a proper lady and less like a 'wild hooligan', while simultaneously turning me into a card shark with his reckless disregard for money. All told, he turned my habits even more masculine than they already were.

Just before I started high school, Mana's brother came and claimed me. Neah was definitely the most free spirited of all my guardians, putting even less effort into raising me than Cross had. He had an annoying habit of buying me cute things, and I ended up with a closet full of dresses still with tags on them and bathroom drawers overflowing with unopened makeup containers. I couldn't throw the gifts out, but I looked like a cross-dressing boy rather than a girl when I wore them - something that the rest of my adoptive family wholeheartedly agreed with - so I could do nothing but hide the gifts away. I'd hoped I'd have some use for them once I went through puberty, but I ended up severely disappointed.

By the time I started college, it was pretty clear that my looks were never going to change. Tired of all the crap I had been through in high school, I decided that university was the time for a fresh start. So I gave up on trying to force myself to look and act like a girl. I even enrolled myself in classes as 'Allen' instead of Allison. If everyone thought I was a boy, then I would be a boy.

If I had had friends, they probably would have tried to talk me out of it. Instead, all I got was a psychotic adoptive cousin who hoped that this was my first step to becoming a lesbian and ultimately dating her, and a chain smoking adoptive uncle who tried way too hard to be supportive of me coming out as transgender. Both of their theories were completely wrong and really weird, and I was glad to be moving across the country for university.

Aside from giving up skirts and lip gloss, which I rarely wore to begin with, there wasn't much I had to do. The hardest part was remembering to not get pissed when people referred to me as a boy, but I got used to that rather quickly. After all, letting go of that anger and frustration was my whole reason for doing this.

Life was a lot easier after that. I was still a woman and I was still straight, but I was no longer spending all of my time trying to convince everyone of those facts. I was free to be myself for the first time since Mana had died.

New student orientation had gone great; I had finally found somewhere I fit in. It was a little frustrating that I had to lie about my gender for that to happen, but then again, that was part of why I was doing this in the first place: I was tired of being an outcast. I even made a friend in my very first college class.

Lenalee Lee was fantastic. She was exactly the kind of woman I wished I was, and I'm not just talking about her kickass figure, which I was definitely more than a little jealous of. The Chinese woman was sweet and kind, all while having a strong spirit that wouldn't take shit from anyone. After that first hour, I could already tell that we were going to be best friends.

Everything in my life was going perfectly - until I met Kanda Yuu.

The Japanese man was easily the hottest guy I had ever seen in person. His navy hair was straight and silky, and he kept it long, choosing to wear it tied up in a high ponytail; it complimented his Asian facial features very well. He was tall and lean, and he held himself in such a way that it gave him the air of a male model. The look in his deep cobalt eyes said that he was confident and independent. It really was unfair how attractive he was. I almost blew everything by squealing like a little girl when he gave me a nickname.

But then I recalled what the word 'Moyashi' meant and realized that he was poking fun at my looks. I exploded. To my surprise, Kanda actually fought back, and despite the fact that he was an obnoxious jerk, that next hour was a blast.

I hummed to myself as I got ready the next morning, which wasn't that unusual for me, I was a music student after all, but my good mood died when I caught sight of my reflection before leaving the room. I hadn't paid attention to what I was doing and I had unconsciously primped myself up, dressing like a girl instead of a guy. What followed was a panicked flurry as I rushed to fix my appearance.

I didn't need to question why I had almost ruined everything I had spent the previous few weeks working on. It was obviously a reaction to the hot guy I had fought with the day before. I had wanted to make myself look good for Kanda.

No, the real question was why I had bothered. Kanda clearly knew me as a man. If he had noticed me in _that_ way, then he was gay and wouldn't like me once he knew the truth. And if he was straight, then he wouldn't like the female me; no guy ever had. Assuming, of course, that I would see him again; we'd spent an hour insulting each other the day before, he probably hated me. Besides, I wasn't one of those girls who went to college to get a husband. I was a strong, independent woman. I didn't need a man.

The sane thing to do was give up on my crush. So that's what I did. If I ever actually saw Kanda again, he would be a friend and nothing more.

It was an endeavor that I failed completely at. But at least my cover as a boy remained intact. Kanda would never know that I was really a woman, or that I secretly worshipped the ground he walked on.


	4. Chapter 3: Stalker, Pt 1

A/N: As always, thanks for the reviews!

Now that backstories are out of the way, it's time for some slice-of-life style stories.

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Despite being friends since childhood, there weren't many things that Lenalee, Lavi, and Kanda all agreed on. They each had strong personalities and came from such different backgrounds that there was almost always one of them - usually Kanda - who had a different opinion on the way things should be done. But lately there was one thing that they unanimously agreed on: whoever was stalking Allen Walker had to die.

Or at the very least, be publicly maimed.

Their white haired friend had become rather distracted recently. They had initially disregarded it, chalking it up to the stress of his first year at college, but as the distraction morphed into jitters and it became clear that Allen wasn't sleeping properly, it was time to step in.

Unused to having friends to confide in, Allison had been doing her very best to not burden her new friends with her problems. So when they confronted her at breakfast after a particularly restless night, she threw all her powers of persuasion into convincing them that nothing was wrong. With her history as a professional gambler, the display was incredibly believable, and she very nearly convinced Lavi and Lenalee that she was fine.

But she hadn't counted on Kanda.

The navy haired man may have been clueless about a great many things concerning Allen Walker, but he knew when the boy was lying about his feelings. His smile was just a little bit too big and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't fake that bright sparkle that filled his eyes when he was genuinely happy. Normally Kanda would have chosen to keep silent on the matter, but in this particular case, he was fed up with the brat's antics. "Bullshit. You're lying through your teeth, Moyashi. Now tell us the truth or I swear to god I'll hit you so hard that you'll be seeing stars for the next week."

Allison swallowed hard, both from the threat and from how attractive Kanda looked, glaring at her with his hands slammed down on the table; he looked deliciously sexy when he was hot and bothered like that. "I- I-..." Her voice suddenly got quiet and to her surprise, the truth just popped out. "I have a stalker."

The others' gut instinct was to laugh at such a ridiculous announcement, but they quickly sobered up as they realized that it wasn't a lie meant to distract them and their friend truly believed that he was being followed. Being the good friends that they were, Lenalee and Lavi pried Allen for details about his stalker so that they could help him with his problem.

It was hard for Allison to open up, but she was so stressed out over the situation that once she started talking, she couldn't stop. The other three listened in horror and outrage as their friend outlined all the signs she had witnessed that had led her to her conclusion. Initially they thought she was being paranoid, the stress of school making her see connections that weren't really there, but when she told them about the coffee cup she'd discovered in the garbage can in her bedroom - from a café that she'd never been to, they changed their minds rather quickly. Not only did the stalker exist, but he had been inside of their friend's dorm room, and that was a completely unacceptable violation of privacy.

When Allison finally finished her story, she expected to be brushed off; after all, that was what her family would do. So it came as quite a shock to her that her new friends immediately started plotting out ways to catch her stalker. She was both touched and put off by their enthusiasm, especially when they reached the decision that the best course of action was to not let her out of their sight until her stalker got caught. Allison tried to stop them, insisting that they didn't need to go through the trouble for her, but her concerns were ignored. By the time their meal was over, they had worked out a schedule for accompanying Allison to all of her classes and just generally making sure she was never alone. She protested, once again insisting that they didn't have to go out of their way to accommodate her, but it truly wasn't difficult for the others, as their schedules overlapped and one of them was already in each of her classes.

The rest of the morning passed uneventfully. Lenalee enjoyed having an excuse to not leave Allen's side, taking advantage of the other's inability to walk away by plying him with innocently worded questions about his sexuality and his feelings towards the most antisocial member of their group. The Chinese girl had read far too many romance novels and was convinced that the tension and hostility between her two friends sprang from love and not hate like they claimed; she had decided that she was going to prove it, and this was the perfect time to get Allen to slip up and admit to liking Kanda. However, the closest she got was a complaint from Allen that it should be illegal for someone to be _that_ attractive. It wasn't anywhere near what Lenalee was hoping for, but it was clearly the most she was getting out of her friend that day.

Lenalee had been briefly confused when Allen had willingly admitted to liking men yet stubbornly insisted he was straight, but she chalked it up to him not being out of the closet yet rather than realizing what it truly was: Allison slipping up and revealing her true gender. The stalker was all but forgotten as the two chatted, but the near constant feeling of being watched kept them from completely forgetting why they were spending time together.

Lavi's shift was much more annoying for Allison than Lenalee's was, as the redhead was easily distracted by women and kept trying to use her as a wingman, but it was nowhere near as stressful as Kanda's was. The Japanese man complained about having to accompany her, but he never left her side, even after she'd given him permission to leave. It was beyond confusing. She couldn't understand why he was acting the way he was, and it baffled her that he seemed to have some sort of protective instinct towards her. It made her hope that he'd return her feelings, but she didn't want to give herself false hope, so she convinced herself that he was only being protective because Lenalee had made him cooperate with their plan.


	5. Chapter 4: Stalker, Pt 2

A/N: Here's the rest of Allen's stalker...

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Despite her confusion towards Kanda's behavior, Allison slept much better that night than she had in days. However, by the time Thursday rolled around, she was so sick of being accompanied everywhere that her friends were actually causing more stress than they were relieving. It was far too hard to not accidentally reveal her true gender to them when they were constantly at her side. Especially with Lavi insisting on following her into the restroom. Allison briefly contemplated telling them the truth, but in the end, she decided to wait a few more days and hope the weekend would go better. Judo class relieved some of that frustration she felt, but using Kanda as a scapegoat only went so far.

Kanda may not have been the brightest crayon in the box, but it didn't take a genius to know why Allen seemed to be especially pissed at him that night; Lavi and Lenalee were clearly smothering the boy in their attempt to protect him from his stalker. He wanted to back off and give Allen his space, but the things he felt towards the younger outweighed his concerns for the other's privacy. So long as Allen was being stalked, Kanda was not going to let the boy out of his sight. He wasn't going to let anyone get near the Moyashi either and had gotten chewed out more than once for the rude way in which he scared people off. He was on high alert, keeping a watchful eye on the students around them and memorizing anyone who looked even remotely suspicious. And that night, his awareness finally paid off.

The young man with the blond braid was someone Kanda had pegged as suspicious the first time he laid eyes on him. At first it was just because the man was dressed far too nicely for their college campus, but then he began showing up in odd places; he tried to blend into the crowds, but Kanda somehow knew that he didn't really belong there.

Not being one to act without a reason, as the blond had never once approached the Moyashi and he was fairly certain that the others' paranoia was rubbing off on him, Kanda had chosen not to confront him. But as they left judo class that night, the man was sitting on a bench outside the building, reading a book. It was dark and chilly outside, making the spot a particularly odd choice for casual reading, but what truly caught Kanda's eye was the disposable coffee cup the man was drinking from. It was identical to the one Allen had found in his trash.

Allison was caught off guard when Kanda suddenly hauled a man off the bench by the door and slammed him against the brick wall. She protested and moved to stop him, but the feral growl Kanda let out froze her in place. "Why the hell are you following the Moyashi?"

Allison couldn't believe what she was hearing, but when the blond dropped his coffee cup and the brown liquid splattered on the ground, she also saw what Kanda had seen. While the blond man stuttered and tried to claim ignorance, she reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. Quickly finding his ID, Allison sighed at what she saw. "Let him go, Kanda."

Kanda turned his glare on her and actually tightened his hold on the man in response. She sighed again and rolled her eyes at him. "He's a PI. He's just doing his job."

Tension continued to fill the air until Kanda relaxed and backed down. He let the man fall away from the wall but kept a tight grip on his arm so that he couldn't run away. The blond moved to take his wallet back from Allison, but she continued to hold it just out of his reach. He swallowed hard when she fixed him with a stare that was even fiercer than Kanda's. Knowing that her stalker was a private investigator had explained the situation perfectly to her, and she was now pissed instead of terrified. "So, Howard Link, who hired you to spy on me?"

Link had faced down far tougher adversaries than these two college students, but for some reason he couldn't begin to fathom, these two completely terrified him. He had to remain professional though, so he put on a brave face. "I am not at liberty to reveal my client."

His arm was immediately yanked backwards at an awkward angle, and it took everything he had not to cry out in pain. Allison inwardly rolled her eyes at Kanda for the action he'd taken, but she refrained from commenting on it in favor of fixing Link with a sickly sweet smile that did nothing to hide the darkness behind it. "Is that so? Well, then how about if I guess and you tell me whether or not I'm right?"

The threat in her voice was so painfully obvious that even Kanda had to resist the urge to shudder. Link stared impassively at her, wanting to say no but not trusting his voice to not give him away.

While Allison could think of at least a dozen different reasons why someone would hire an investigator to follow her, two reasons were the most plausible. It was either her crazy family checking up on her or someone looking to settle one of Cross' many debts. She hoped it was the latter, as an evening of gambling would easily get them the money they sought and then the problem would go away, but something about this situation screamed that it was one of her uncles who had hired Link. "Was it Adam or Neah?"

Once again, her poker skills proved themselves indispensable as she instantly picked up on Link's tell. Cursing out loud, she pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialed Neah's number.

Kanda didn't understand half of the things Allen was shouting into his phone, as the younger's accent was out in full force and most of the things he was saying were British slang, but he got the gist of it. The Moyashi's uncle was apparently just as clingy as Lenalee's older brother was and had felt the need to hire someone to check up on the boy. Allen was understandably pissed off over the violation of his privacy and was going overboard to make Neah understand that. It was terrifying to listen to, but at the same time, Kanda was no stranger to Allen's anger, and there was just something about watching him get worked up like that that turned him on. It was incredibly confusing, and after what he'd just witnessed, Kanda was only certain of one thing: he needed a cold shower.


	6. Chapter 5: Football

A/N: As always, thanks for the reviews. I love hearing what you guys think.

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It was a well known fact around campus that Allen Walker and Kanda Yuu hated each other. What was not so well known was that they were perfectly capable of getting along, under the proper circumstances. And it went beyond simply keeping their mouths shut while a professor was talking.

Being one of the few people who was actually friends with both boys, Lenalee Lee knew exactly what those circumstances were, and she was a pro at getting the pair into situations where they had no choice but to behave. There were some instances where it was especially easy. Getting them to that weekend's football game was one of them. After all, the homecoming game was something that she knew they both wanted to attend; all she had to do was lie and say that the other wasn't coming, and both boys showed up at the tailgate party, exactly like she wanted them to.

They complained about it, but there were so many people there that it was easy to avoid each other in the hustle and bustle of the pre-game celebrations. Or it should have been. However, both Allen and Kanda were athletic and extremely competitive, so when someone started tossing a football around, they both had to get involved in the game. It kept them busy though, as they were more interested in playing the game than in arguing with each other, and that was good for everybody.

Everyone was in a good mood, playing around and eating while showing off their school spirit. And when it was finally time to go inside the stadium, they got even more excited. But for one group of friends, that's where the fun hit a major bump.

Lenalee arrived at her seat to find Allen and Kanda glaring death at each other and Lavi trying, and failing, to calm them down. The pair had seats next to each other and they were clearly unhappy with that fact. The Chinese woman rolled her eyes and muttered under her breath, wondering when they would stop being stubborn and just admit that they liked each other.

A quick smack to the back of their heads had the pair focusing on her. Lenalee scowled at them and planted her hands firmly on her hips. "Komui will be joining us for the game. If you guys can't behave, I'm going to be forced to tell him that you made a pass at me."

The threat was very effective, and Allen and Kanda immediately sat down in their seats at the thought of what the Chinese girl's overprotective and slightly psychotic older brother would do to them if they didn't do what she wanted. Allison in particular was terrified, as she had no clue whether or not her true gender could save her from Komui's wrath; it wasn't hard to believe that the man would be just as upset about a woman making a pass at his sister as he was towards men.

The tense mood didn't last long. The excitement in the stadium was contagious, and the four friends quickly returned to partying with their peers. And when the game finally started, they turned serious, watching it like the whole season rode on the outcome of the game.

For Allison, it was a very liberating time. Knowing football well enough to predict upcoming plays was one of the things that had gotten her ostracized in high school, but now she was at a place where her knowledge of sports actually made her friends like her more. Lenalee and Lavi both appreciated that she could explain the game to them, and even Kanda seemed to respect her more than he used to.

It briefly crossed her mind that it was only because she was lying about being male that it was socially acceptable for her to know that much about such a masculine sport, but she quickly squashed that negative thought; if there was one thing she had learned from being best friends with Lenalee, it was that the Chinese girl was incapable of being anything other than completely supportive of her friends. Allison knew that Lenalee would appreciate her love of sports regardless of her gender.

But that thought brought a different ache to Allison's heart. She didn't like lying to her best friend, especially when said friend was the first true friend she'd ever had, and knowing that she was lying about who she was made that feeling even worse. She'd been debating telling the other girl the truth for a while now, and this situation was further proof that she could trust Lenalee, but she still wasn't sure if she was willing to take that risk. However, before she could depress herself too much with her inner conflict, the visiting team threw an interception and her focus returned to the game.

Kanda was having a different mental battle, but it was also one he had regularly. The Moyashi had always been adorable, but today, with the way his face was lit up with all that passion and excitement, Allen was impossibly attractive. Kanda had never wanted the younger boy more, and that thought both angered and terrified him.

By the time halftime rolled around, Lenalee was done with football and ready to go home. But the boys weren't about to leave the game in the middle of it, and she knew that if she left without them, Allen and Kanda would start fighting, so she had no choice but to stay. It was a choice she did not care for, so she made sure to voice her displeasure with the situation. "I need to make some girl friends. You boys are useless."

Lavi and Kanda ignored her, knowing that she was just giving them a hard time, but no matter how much she reminded herself that the other girl was only teasing, Allison couldn't help but take the words personally.


	7. Chapter 6: Party

A/N: I was going to ask if you guys wanted more of these random little stories about the four of them being college students, but from your reviews, it sounds like you're all ready for the real story to progress. Don't worry, this is the last one. Next chapter will be someone finding out Allen's secret. ;)

To Foxluna: Yep, that's Tyki and Road. I don't know when yet, but they will definitely be showing up for real at some point during this story.

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It was supposed to be the hottest party of the year. Midterms had just finished and everyone was excited for the chance to let loose and have some fun. Everyone except Kanda Yuu and Allison Walker, that is. They had come as a group with Lavi and Lenalee, but as the night wore on, Allison and Kanda found themselves sitting on the sidelines, together, watching everyone else have fun.

Allison had been looking forward to the party. She had close friends who were going to be there and she was accepted as part of that social scene; or rather, 'Allen' was, but she wasn't going to focus on that tonight. She was going to enjoy the party and have a good time. But all that changed when the first keg was brought out. The addition of alcohol made the party something she didn't want to touch with a ten foot pole. Unfortunately, unless she wanted to walk home in the freezing rain or shell out the twenty bucks to pay for a cab, she was stuck waiting until her friends were ready to leave. So she retreated to a corner where the smell of beer wasn't so overpowering and resigned herself to sitting there in boredom while people had fun around her.

She wasn't expecting to end up with company, and she certainly wasn't expecting that company to be Kanda. She figured the Japanese man would want to be anywhere that wasn't with her. Allison wanted to ask him why he was there, but she knew that if she did, he would only yell at her.

Knowing exactly what Allen was thinking, Kanda chose to answer his unasked question as he sat down beside him. But the answer he gave was only partially the truth; the Japanese man was not about to admit that he came over because he didn't like seeing the white haired boy look so lonely. "I hate parties like this. Everything was perfectly fine and then they had to go and ruin it by bringing beer. Now the music's going to get louder and everyone's going to get stupid."

The comment made Allison laugh. "You mean, 'stupider than usual', right?"

He snorted at the remark and they fell into silence. They were both acutely aware of the fact that it was the first time that they'd sat alone together - outside of during classes, obviously - but their attempt to hold a conversation just made the whole situation even more awkward.

Kanda spoke first, trying to get some information out of the white haired boy he had a crush on. "I'm surprised you're not out there, Moyashi. Shouldn't you be having fun with everyone else?"

Allison shook her head at the half-heard question, not catching that he'd used that nickname that she hated so much. "My foster father was an alcoholic. The smell of beer makes me nauseous."

They fell into silence once more, and this time Allison broke it, with a jab she thought would get a rise out the eerily subdued Japanese man. "You know, if you had something to drink, you'd probably loosen up enough to actually have fun."

"And risk losing my scholarship for drinking while underage? No thank you." He snorted as another thought occurred to him. "Besides, someone has to be sober enough to drive the rabbit's sorry ass back to campus."

Allison laughed as she caught sight of Lavi's red hair as he danced in the busiest area of the party; he was definitely going a little too wild. "True."

As they fell silent once more, Kanda was willing Allen to ask him to ditch Lavi and take him home. He wasn't going to make the offer - though he'd have offered in a heartbeat if he'd known that the other was female - but he would definitely agree to it if the Moyashi were to ask; the fact that there was alcohol at the party was definitely a good enough reason to explain any out of character behavior towards his crush.

Allison was simultaneously wishing he'd ask, because her pride wasn't going to let her play the damsel in distress. She'd rather wait miserably for Lavi and Lenalee to be done partying than ask Kanda for a favor.

Fortunately for both of them, that was when a buzzed Lenalee sauntered over.

Even drunk, the Chinese woman still cared too much about her friends' wellbeing. She smiled brightly at the pair sitting on the sidelines and offered them each a red plastic cup full of beer. "Come on guys! Join the party!"

Having grown up with the Japanese man, his negative response was expected. "Not gonna happen."

Unable to tell her best friend 'no' to her face, Allison quickly came up with a lie for why she wasn't drinking that wouldn't hurt the other girl's feelings. "I have to get up early tomorrow."

Guessing the true meaning behind Allison's words, Lenalee smiled sweetly and set the beer cups aside. Sitting down between the two on the couch - there was plenty of space - she threw an arm around each of their shoulders. "You know, it's ok to leave. Don't worry about me and Lavi, my brother's cool and he'll come get us. You guys can go ahead and go back to campus."

It only took a bit more prodding from the Chinese woman for them to follow her suggestion; after all, leaving was what they both wanted to do.

The car ride passed in complete silence. While Allison secretly hoped that being in an enclosed space with the Japanese man would lead to something steamy, Kanda wanted nothing more than to get home as quickly as possible. Being alone with the Moyashi hurt; the object of his affections was mere inches away, but touching the younger male was completely out of the question. Kanda Yuu was not gay. He was not going to give in, no matter how adorable the Moyashi's pensive expression was.

Back at the party, Lenalee picked up the cups of beer and returned to her redheaded companion. Lavi laughed as he took one of the cups from her. "How'd it go?"

She shook her head at him, unknowingly hitting someone with one of her long green pigtails. "No good. Those two idiots still won't admit that they like each other."

Lavi laughed and downed the beer. "That's cuz they don't. You should give up before they figure out what you're up to."


	8. Chapter 7: Fall Semester

Sophomore year finally ended. Lavi and Lenalee had told me their summer plans, but I hadn't listened. I only cared that Allen was staying at school for summer semester. I had gotten an internship in a laboratory a few cities over, meaning that my summer was completely free of the Moyashi and the conflicted feelings he caused in me.

There was one major problem with that: the feelings were a thousand times worse when I saw Allen again at the start of junior year. We were once again living in the same dorm building. And of course, Lavi was there too, which meant that I wouldn't be able to ignore the Moyashi, like I had resolved to do over the summer.

Even without the redhead's meddling, fate wasn't going to let me ignore the brat. Allen and I had yet another judo class together. And after the year before, he and I had been established as the top of the class. We were partnered together again, and that first class night was intense.

I don't know if it was my imagination or not, but the tension between us never faded as we walked back to the dorm together. I wanted to jump the Moyashi so badly. He looked even more gorgeous than usual with the way the moonlight caught his snow white hair and glistened off the slight sheen of sweat that coated his ivory skin.

Allen followed me to my room; he had a book to return to Lavi, who was unsurprisingly out for the night. And as I watched the Moyashi dig the book from his bag and place it on the Usagi's desk, it suddenly occurred to me that I had spent the last year torturing myself for absolutely no reason. All of my sexual frustrations were moot if the boy didn't return my feelings.

Acting on impulse, I grabbed Allen by the belt loops of his jeans and pushed his back against the wall. He protested, but didn't get any words out as I had immediately pressed my lips against his. Given his initial reaction, I was thoroughly prepared to be shoved away, so it was quite surprising when the Moyashi began to kiss me back.

His grunt of protest morphed into a deep moan, and he opened his mouth, letting me delve my tongue into the moist cavern. Our tongues danced as I lost myself in the taste of him. It felt so good to finally be kissing that brat, and knowing that he wanted it made that feeling even better. I could deal with the consequences later; right now, all that mattered was kissing Allen.

The Moyashi's hands trailed up my back and neck, not stopping until he reached my hair tie. In a way, it was expected; he had stolen my hair tie several times during our fights in the previous year. But there was something different about it this time. His slender fingers were gentle instead of angry, and there was a sensual feeling in the way he caressed my scalp and undid my ponytail.

As he ran his fingers through my hair, I kept a strong grasp on his pants, simultaneously pushing him firmly against the wall and pulling his body closer to mine. He squirmed, not trying to escape, but trying to get closer. It wasn't long before we were grinding our hips together. The sounds of his gasps and moans were intoxicating.

In the middle of the incredibly heated moment, I noticed something that completely threw me.

I was hard as a rock from the intensity of our make out session, and from the way he was acting, Allen should have been as well. With the way we were standing, I should have felt his erection pushing against mine.

But I didn't.

I was disappointed that I hadn't gotten that reaction out of him, but that feeling only lasted for half a second. Because that's when I realized that I wasn't feeling his dick at all. Allen didn't have a penis.

There was only one conclusion my blood and oxygen deprived brain could come up with: the Moyashi was a woman.

I felt a lot of things in that moment: anger, frustration, curiosity; but there was one emotion that overpowered all of the others. Relief. I wasn't gay. The object of my affections was female.

Then came the uncertainty. As Allen and I continued to make out, I began to feel a burning need to find out whether or not my conclusion was actually true. Was he actually a woman, or was I reading the signs wrong?

It was easy enough to find out though.

It only took seconds for my fingers to locate and unfasten the button on the brat's jeans, and it took even less time to yank both the jeans and his underwear off his skinny hips.

The Moyashi froze completely when I broke the kiss, but I didn't notice. My eyes were glued on the patch of white hair between the brat's legs. I had paid enough attention in sex ed to know what I was seeing, and my earlier conclusion had been correct, but that didn't make it any less weird to see.

"Moyashi? You're ... a woman?"


	9. Chapter 8: The Truth

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews. Now it's time for Allen's perspective on what happened last chapter...

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It wasn't my first time in Kanda's dorm room, but it was my first time _alone_ with Kanda in his dorm room. I wanted to prolong my visit, but I had no excuse for staying, and I knew that once I had returned Lavi's book, I would be kicked out. It was disappointing; it felt like we might have had a moment during judo class, and I wanted to stay in his company a little longer.

I nearly screamed when Kanda grabbed me and shoved me against the wall. It didn't hurt, I was just incredibly shocked. Especially when the action was followed by Kanda kissing me.

If I were thinking clearly, I would have pushed him away. This type of situation could only end with him finding out that I was female and hating me for it. I had lied to him for too long for there to be any other outcome.

But I wasn't thinking clearly. I was so overwhelmed by the feelings that came from Kanda kissing me, that I gave in to the kiss. I even gave in to my desire to run my fingers through his hair; the long navy strands were every bit as silky and smooth as I had imagined they would be. The kissing was perfect too; Kanda was strong and forceful, yet gentle enough that he wasn't hurting me. I never wanted the moment to end.

Reality came crashing back to me the instant Kanda pulled my pants down.

 _Fuck. He knows._

My heart was beating so loud and hard that I thought it was going to beat right out of my chest. I vaguely heard Kanda ask me a question, but before I could even process what it was, I was thrown down on his bed. My back hit the mattress roughly, almost knocking the wind out of me. I was acutely aware of the fact that my pants were around my ankles and my womanhood was exposed for the whole world to see.

Blushing deeply, I hurried to fix my pants, but a deep and dangerous growl from Kanda made me lose my grip on the waistband. He clearly did not want me to pull my pants up.

I tried to form a coherent sentence; I wanted to try to explain myself to Kanda, but the way he was staring at me, or rather, at my exposed slit, was completely unnerving. The expression on his face was beyond unreadable. I had no way of guessing just how angry I had made him. "Kanda, I-"

"Shut up, Moyashi. Don't move."

There was something in his voice that made me do what he said. I was far too scared of what was about to happen to try to argue with him.

I barely breathed as I watched Kanda walk to the door, my heart almost stopping as he opened it. This was even worse than what I was expecting, I was going to end up completely humiliated and-

It came as a complete shock to me when Kanda didn't leave, but rather stuck his head out into the hall for a moment before coming back in and closing and locking the door. He leaned back against the wood, crossed his strong arms over his perfectly toned chest, and fixed me with a very serious stare. "I'm going to need an explanation, Moyashi."

It was a demand, not a request, but that was to be expected from Kanda. I sighed and stared up at the ceiling, stumbling over my words. "I- I... I don't know where to start..."

He scoffed, clearly irritated by my lack of a response. "How about with the obvious: you're female?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"And you've been pretending to be a man?"

I sighed; this was the complicated part. "Yes and no."

He didn't respond, just waited in silence while I tried to find the words that would hopefully explain the situation without making him hate me. "For as long as I can remember, everyone I've ever met has just assumed that I'm male. Teachers, classmates, random strangers on the street. Even my adoptive father thought I was a boy the first time we met."

I raised an eyebrow at Kanda. "You did it too. Before Lenalee ever told you my name, you had taken one look at me and assumed that I was male, right?"

Kanda briefly looked like he was going to argue before he realized I was right. He kept his silent, serious stare.

I sighed and refocused on the ceiling before I continued my story. "Part of it was my own fault; I'm very much a tomboy, and that only made me seem even more male. I've never really cared what people thought, but I have always _hated_ being mistaken for a boy. Especially back in high school, after I had been through puberty and was left with absolutely nothing to show for it."

The words reminded me that my pants were still down, and I blushed hard. I hurriedly collected myself and moved on. "No one ever believed me when I corrected them. They _always_ replied with, 'Oh, you're trans. Good for you.' It completely sucked. Life in general just sucked. So when I came to college, it was time for a fresh start. I knew from what happened at prom that even if I were to wear makeup and dress like a woman, it wouldn't change anything, so I decided the easiest thing to do was give in and let everyone think that I was a guy."

I tapered off, trying to decide if I wanted to tell Kanda that I actually liked my life now. I was so lost in thought that I almost missed it when he finally said something. "I understand."

"Really?" I was too startled to say anything else.

He chuckled once, and I knew that it was at my expense. "I went to public school too, Moyashi."

It was a pathetic explanation, but it was all I needed to hear, the tension in the room dissipated immediately. I felt a lot better knowing that Kanda wasn't mad at me. "Can I put my pants back on?"

"No. We're not done yet."

"'Not done yet'?! What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" I tried to question him, but he disappeared into the bathroom and ignored everything I said in the two minutes he was gone. Feeling rebellious from his lack of response, I pulled my pants up.

I repeated my questions when he came back, but his only response was to climb on the bed, kneel over me, and start kissing me again.

In a way, it _was_ an answer. We had been in the middle of making out before we had stopped to talk. Picking up where we left off was clearly his way of saying that he wanted sex.

However, unlike earlier, I was thinking clearly now, and this was wrong. Kanda was supposed to be mad at me; the only reason I could think of as to why he was acting that way was that he was planning to use me for sex and then ditch me. And I was not about to let that happen.


	10. Chapter 9: The Truth, Pt 2

A/N: As always, thanks for your reviews.

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It was actually really easy to push Kanda away. All I had to do was not kiss him back, and he pulled away on his own.

I thought he would yell at me, but instead he just looked impatient. He raised an eyebrow at me. "I get that being clueless is sort of your thing, Moyashi, but do I really have to spell this out for you?"

I scowled and lightly punched him in the stomach. "No, I get that you want sex. You're not the first guy to think he can have me just because I come off as desperate."

The hurt look on Kanda's face startled me. In all our months of fighting, I had never seen him show that I had hurt his feelings before. The look passed quickly, replaced with an expression of remorse as he sat back on his heels. "Sorry. I got a little carried away. I didn't realize that it would give you the wrong impression."

I nearly stopped breathing. Kanda Yuu had just apologized. To _me_. His next words were even more startling to hear. "I don't just want sex, Moyashi. I want _you_. All of you. I wanted you back when I thought you were male, and I want you even more now that I know you're not."

I blinked dumbly up at him. He was obviously telling the truth; it was written all over his face that he meant every word he said. And somewhere in the back of my brain, I knew that Kanda was not the type of guy to lie to get sex. But it didn't make sense. How could he possibly like me _more_ after learning that I'd been lying to him for the last year?

When I didn't respond, Kanda sighed and ran a hand through his beautiful hair. "Alright, let's try this another way."

He climbed off me, moving so that he was lying beside me on the bed. He sighed heavily again before he spoke. "I'm straight. But I like you, Moyashi. And I liked you back when liking you meant that I was gay. This past year has been hell on me trying to balance my feelings for you with the fact that I am not the slightest bit gay."

"What?" I gaped at Kanda. If he 'wasn't the slightest bit gay' then why did he kiss me? If just liking me from a distance was messing with his head that badly, why had he tried to deepen the relationship?

Before I could voice my confusion, he sighed and stared talking again. "I was fully prepared to go all the way with you tonight back when I thought you were a guy. It was going be hard to deal with afterwards, but that's how much I like you. Being with you would have been worth all that crap."

I felt like crying. Kanda liked me so much that he had tried to make himself gay for me. It made me feel even worse about lying to him.

As if sensing my train of thought, Kanda moved back on top of me and stared down into my eyes. "And that's why I'm not mad at you, Moyashi. I'm so relieved that you're actually a woman that I don't care that you've been deceiving me. Especially now that I know why you were doing it."

I didn't know how to respond to that. It was just too unexpected. But I had no doubts that he was telling the truth, so when Kanda leaned down and pressed a kiss against my lips, I didn't fight him. I let him build the intensity of the kiss, and it wasn't long at all before we were making out with the same heat and ferocity that we had had before my gender had become an issue.

Kanda ground his hips against mine and I moaned loudly at the contact. It felt so good, but all I could think about in that moment was how much better it would feel if our pants weren't in the way. But when I fumbled for the button on his jeans, the make out session abruptly stopped.

I blinked when Kanda pulled himself off me, but before I could complain, he was pulling his shirt off. I had seen Kanda shirtless before, we did have martial arts classes together, but there was something magical about seeing his bare chest in this context.

When I realized I was drooling, I managed to tear my gaze away from his perfectly toned pecs and the strange tattoo over his heart. But the new sight was even more stunning. Kanda was standing beside the bed, completely naked. The rest of his body was just as perfect as his chest, from his strong hips to his muscular legs, including his erect cock.

If I were seeing it under different circumstances, it would have taken a lot of willpower to not stare at his magnificent dick; and I would have been lost in daydreaming about touching it. But in that moment I was acutely aware of how soaked my underwear were, and I knew that there was only thing stopping that glorious cock from actually being inside of me. So instead of staring, I opted for getting my jeans off as quickly as I could.

In my haste, I struggled with the button, which just made Kanda laugh. "See? I told you to leave them down."

I stuck my tongue out at him, but he didn't see it. His fingers were pulling mine from my waistband, and he gently undid the button and pulled down the zipper. He eased the fabric off my hips, and at that point I was done being patient. I simultaneously kicked off my shoes and pulled off my shirt while Kanda finished removing my pants.

I was now lying completely naked on Kanda's bed.

Part of me felt self-conscious, but I had had this fantasy before, of revealing myself as a woman by stripping for Kanda. And this situation was completely different from that; I already knew that he wanted me. And if his earlier words hadn't convinced me of that, what he did next certainly would have.

Kanda climbed back on the bed and knelt between my spread legs. He leaned down and began kissing my neck. He focused all his attention on the one spot, sucking and biting at my skin. By the time he was done with the hickey, I was moaning and gasping for breath. "There, now everyone will know that you're mine."

I blinked at him as he sat back on his heels. The words and hickey confirmed his earlier declaration that this wasn't a one night stand. And as I watched him unwrap the condom he'd retrieved from the bathroom earlier and encase his length in its protective latex barrier, I was even more convinced that that was the case; Kanda was actually using protection.


	11. Chapter 10: Together

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! As an early Christmas present, here's two chapters!

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The Moyashi's naked body wasn't much to look at. She was flat chested and had no curves of any kind, and her beautiful ivory skin was marred with rough and vivid scars. I knew she'd been in a car accident when she was younger, but I hadn't realized that, just like with everything else, she had downplayed the severity of her injuries.

That didn't stop me from finding her absolutely gorgeous though. I thought she was beautiful as a man, but that was nothing compared to the beauty I saw now that I knew the truth.

The way she stared at me after I marked her was adorable, but I wasn't going to be able to hold myself back much longer. "Ready, Moyashi?"

She frowned and chewed at her lip. It was both endearing and frustrating; despite everything we'd just been through, her expression said that she still didn't believe that I was doing this because I wanted _her_.

But then she blushed a gorgeous shade of red and looked away. "I don't know. I've never done this before... I'm a virgin."

That was not what I was expecting from her at all. From what she'd said earlier, I knew she'd been burned by guys before, but it had sounded like she'd actually slept with them. Learning that I was going to be her first was surprising. "Damn it, Moyashi. Stop saying things that make me want you more."

She looked to me for an explanation, but I didn't give her one. Instead, I gripped her thin hips and thrust into her. I was too hard and impatient to wait any longer.

The Moyashi shrieked in surprise, but she recovered quickly. Her slender fingers were immediately in my hair, caressing my scalp and pulling me closer to her. I gave in to her tugging, and when our lips met, she began bucking her hips.

What happened next was sloppy and fast. We never did manage to find a rhythm in our thrusts, and I came embarrassingly quickly. The only redeeming quality to the sex was that she came too.

I pulled out of her and lay beside her, achieving unison with her for the first time that night as we panted together. "Moyashi, I-"

She cut me off before I could apologize. "That was your first time too, wasn't it?"

I was not about to admit to that, but my silence was the only answer she needed. She pushed herself up on her elbow and gazed critically at me. It was written all over her face that she didn't believe her own conclusion. "But you're _gorgeous_. You could have any woman you want. Why would you pick _me_ of all people to be your first?"

"You answered your own question, Moyashi." I brushed my fingers into her short white hair as she blinked in confusion. "You were my first because you were the first one I wanted."

She frowned and pulled my hand out of her hair causing the strands to fall back into her face. "You already got sex from me. You can stop lying to me now."

I sighed and brushed my fingers back into her hair. "I haven't lied to you once. The only liar in this bed is you, _Allen_. What is your real name anyway?"

She blushed a deep crimson when I reminded her that she had been hiding her gender from me. "Allison."

Letting out a heavy sigh, she rolled back onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. "What happens now?"

I knew she was really asking about her secret, but I didn't want to let her off the hook just yet. "I don't know about you, but that sex wasn't all that great. I vote we try again until we get it right."

She apparently wasn't in the mood to be messed with though as she whimpered and started crying. I could practically hear her thinking that she was right about me wanting to use her for sex. I quickly wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer, loving the feeling of her bare skin against mine. "I've fallen for you, Allison. I want us to be one of those couples who have fantastic sex because they're so connected, but that's going to take some practice. So, are you my girlfriend, or do you want me to pretend that you're a guy?"

Her tears only got stronger, but now she was crying for a different reason. "You- you would-"

I nodded as I pulled her face against my chest. "If it's what you want, I'll pretend to be gay. I want to be with you, Moyashi, but I'm not going to force you to be a girl for me, and I'm not going to blackmail you into this. I know you've been pretending to be male for a reason, so if you want to continue being Allen, I'll play along."


	12. Chapter 11: The Next Morning

The last thing I remember from that night is sobbing myself to sleep in Kanda's arms. Contrary to all of my expectations, he not only wanted to date me, he was willing to pretend that I was male. Even now, that makes me want to cry.

There wasn't time for that that morning though. Because I didn't wake up naturally. I was woken by someone laughing and screaming "oh my god" over and over again.

I freaked out at the unexpected voice, which I quickly identified as belonging to Lavi, but I was safe, completely hidden under Kanda's comforter. He stirred beside me, easing his naked body out from under mine as he sat up. "What the hell are you spazzing out for this early in the morning, Baka Usagi?"

The happy yelling paused for a moment, but then it immediately picked up again. "You-! You're in bed with someone! Oh my god! Our dear little Yuu-chan has finally gotten laid! Who is she? What's she like? What-?"

"Shut the fuck up, Usagi!" I almost smiled at how pissed Kanda sounded, but I was too freaked out to enjoy their banter. If Lavi discovered that it was _me_ in Kanda's bed, what happened next would be complete chaos. And it would be even worse if it got out that I was really a woman. I could only hope that Kanda meant what he said about pretending to be gay. "You're so goddamn annoying!"

I could practically hear Lavi's smirk in his next words. "Do you really want to swear like that when she's still in the bed with you? How's she going to react to learning that you've got such a potty mouth?"

"Moron. The entire school knows that. Anyone who hasn't figured that out yet would have to be a bigger idiot than you are." From where I was hiding, I could see Kanda smooth out his hair and pull it up with a tie he'd grabbed from the nightstand. I openly stared at him, practically drooling at the gorgeous display. And I didn't miss the slight smirk that crossed his face when he saw that I was awake.

Expecting the worst, it was quite a shock when Kanda's next words to Lavi were actually somewhat polite. "Would you mind giving us a little privacy, Usagi? We're not exactly decent under here."

"But I want to know-"

Kanda cut him off with an annoyed scoff. "Che. And I'm sure you'll pester that information out of me before the day is over. What you don't need is to see either of us naked. So will you go hide in the bathroom or something?"

"Fine, fine. I get it. I'll go." There was a moment of quiet as Lavi shuffled around the room. "Why is Allen's backpack on my bed?"

My heart just about stopped with those words, but Kanda actually made up a very plausible story. "Che. The idiot must have left it here when he dropped off your book last night."

Lavi did not buy it though. He was silent for a moment, but then he began babbling again. It was mostly nonsense until he suddenly gasped. "You didn't!"

Kanda's next words were spoken slowly and deliberately. To my utter disbelief, he was still shielding me from Lavi. "And what if we did?"

"You- you mean that actually _is_ Allen in the bed next to you? You two actually...?"

"We did." I surprised myself by popping my head out from under the blanket.

Lavi briefly looked shocked, but then he frowned. "You guys are messing with me, aren't you? This is some sort of payback for locking you in that closet last year, right?"

"That was _you_?!" Kanda and I yelled at him in unison. It had taken us three hours to escape from that closet.

The redhead laughed nervously. "No, of course not! I would never do something like that to my two best friends." He quickly switched gears and got serious. "But this has to be some kind of joke, right? There's no way that you two actually... did that."

Kanda snorted. "Of course you don't believe us. And if you had caught us like this and we had tried to say that nothing happened, you wouldn't believe that either. The Moyashi and I had sex last night. Deal with it."

Lavi frowned at the harsh words. "You mean you actually aren't wearing any clothes under there? Prove it."

I scowled fiercely at him. I knew exactly what he was really after with that comment. "I am not letting you see me naked, Lavi. Just like I'm never letting you follow me into the bathroom. I have no interest in comparing sizes with you. Besides, having seen Kanda's last night, I can assure you that you would lose that measuring contest."

Honestly, I had no clue if Kanda's dick was truly bigger than Lavi's or not, (and I had absolutely no desire to find out), but the words had their desired effect: Lavi paled and immediately headed for the bathroom. "Never mind then. I'll just leave you alone for a bit."

When the door was closed behind him, Kanda and I climbed out of bed. While I found and threw on my clothes from the night before, he grabbed the knob to the bathroom door and held it shut so Lavi couldn't get out. It didn't escape my notice that he was already in his boxers, and that was disappointing; I had wanted to see him in all his glory again. But as I scrambled about, Kanda was looking at me like I was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, and that was incredibly flattering.

As I began buttoning my jeans, Kanda finally did something other than stand there watching me. He sighed and gave me a small smile. "Moyashi. About last night, I-"

I kissed him to cut off his words. "We can talk later. I don't want Lavi overhearing anything." Picking up my shoes and slinging my backpack over my shoulder, I gave him another quick kiss. "I don't have class this morning; I'll be in my room if you want to talk in private once you're free of your roommate."

Another quick kiss and then I left Kanda's dorm room and headed down the hall. My stomach was doing flips and I forced myself not to think about any of what had happened in the last eight hours; I couldn't risk having a breakdown in the middle of the hallway.


	13. Chapter 12: The Next Morning, Pt 2

A/N: As always, thanks for the reviews! I appreciate every single one of them!

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To my surprise, Kanda caught up with me before I reached the stairs. He was perfectly composed, already dressed in fresh clothes. Even more surprisingly, he took my shoes from me and entwined our fingers together. We walked hand in hand the rest of the way to my room. I wanted to question him, but the romantic gesture was so out of character for him that I was stunned into silence.

I unlocked the door to my room and headed straight for my dresser to get clean clothes. Kanda closed the door behind him, and it wasn't until he spoke that I realized he'd never been in my room before. "Well that answers that question."

When I blinked at him, he explained further. "I was wondering whether or not your roommate knew you were a girl, but you apparently live alone."

I snorted as I pulled open a drawer. "Thankfully. This thing is hard enough without that headache."

Kanda's hands were suddenly on my waist, pulling my back to his muscular chest. His fingers slipped under my shirt and his lips were on the back of my neck, his breath tickling as he spoke. "I thought what you'd be thankful for is that we have a private place to be together..."

The innuendo in his words was not missed, and I couldn't help sighing as I turned in his hold. I placed my forehead against his chest, so that I wouldn't have to see his face when I asked the most important question I would probably ever ask him. "Do you really want to date me or are you just after more sex?"

"Why can't I want both?" The sincerity in his voice surprised me, and I looked up. His cobalt eyes were full of both honesty and lust. "I care about you a lot, Moyashi. And the possibility that I might be the only man who ever gets to touch you..."

I could do nothing but gape at him when he cut himself off with a slight moan. I knew going into this that Kanda was possessive, but his words completely baffled me. We technically weren't even a couple yet, and there he was, aroused by the thought of being together for the rest of our lives. It was beyond puzzling.

But at the same time, it felt so good. Kanda, the hottest guy I'd ever met, the guy I'd been mooning over for the past year, was turned on by thinking about _me_. I mean, he had clearly had no problem with that the night before, but still. It made my heart race.

Especially when the next thing he did was press his lips against mine. He brushed his fingers into my hair, but before we got any further, my phone rang shrilly.

Kanda groaned and pulled away. "That would be Lenalee... Damn Usagi probably blabbed everything to her the second we left him alone."

I laughed lightly as I dug out my phone and checked the caller ID. Kanda was right. Forcing cheerful ignorance, I answered the call; ignoring it would have been a very stupid thing to do. "Hey, Lena. What's up?"

She screeched and began babbling so loudly that I had to pull the phone away from my ear. Kanda gave me a look that said he would hang up on her. I rolled my eyes at him then turned my attention back to the phone. "Lena, if you don't calm down, I won't be able to understand what you're saying."

She immediately grew silent, which was good, but what she said next was not. "Lavi says you and Kanda had sex last night."

Before I could react, Kanda took the phone from me. After growling, "mind your own business, woman," at Lenalee, he hung up the phone and tossed it onto my dresser.

"Now, where were we?" Answering his own question, he grabbed my hips and pulled me back into a kiss.

We didn't stay that way long. He broke away after only a couple seconds. Sensing that he had something he wanted to say, I held my tongue and waited nervously for him to speak. "You never answered my question last night, Moyashi. I want to date you, but before we get into that, I need to know, if we do this, are you going to continue pretending to be male?"

I sighed and moved away from him to sit on the edge of my bed. Despite what he had said the night before, I wasn't sure how Kanda was going to take what I had to say, and that scared me. My previous interactions with him had all gone a certain way, and it was beyond baffling that he hadn't sworn at me once since learning I was a woman. "I have no intention of going back to how things were. Whether or not we do this has no effect on that. This past year has been one of the happiest years of my entire life. I have friends, I'm liked at school, I've held the same job for more than a couple weeks, and it's all because I'm letting everyone think that I'm male. I can't give that up."

Kanda had joined me on the bed, sitting calmly beside me as I explained myself, never once arguing or interrupting me. It was undeniable proof that he meant it when he said that he wanted to be my boyfriend. I stared seriously at him and took his hand in mine. "That being said, I've been crushing on you from the moment we first met. I have, on more than one occasion, debated throwing all that away if it would enable me to be with you. It means so much to me that you not only want to be with me despite how much I've lied to you, but that you're willing to let me continue living my life this way."

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A/N #2: I've got a question for you guys. I'm currently working on two different sections of this story, this main plotline and a second arc that's set a couple years in future (after Lavi and Kanda graduate). I've been thinking about how to best connect the two pieces, and I'm curious if you guys would rather have one story (either with a time skip or stories similar to chapters 3-6 that cover the time skip) or if you'd rather have a solid end to this story and have the stuff set in the future be a separate story (kind of like what I did with "Of Cats and Witches" and "A Second Neko"). What do you think?


	14. Chapter 13: Dating

A/N: Thanks for the reviews!

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Kanda said nothing in response; instead, he leaned in and kissed me. I wanted to lose myself in the kiss, in Kanda's silent assurance that he would never force me to change myself for him, but there was something more I needed to say.

"By knowing that I'm really a woman, you have the power to ruin my entire life." I held up a hand to stop him from arguing. "I know. If you weren't going to keep it a secret, you'd have told Lavi everything when he caught us in bed together. I just wanted to say it out loud so that you'd know just how much trust I'm placing in you. I-"

He cut me off with a brief kiss. "I get that this is some big emotional thing for you, but honestly, for me, this way is just easier. It's going to be awkward enough explaining to everyone that we're dating now, adding on that you're really a woman is only going to make that worse. It's far simpler to pretend to be gay."

The way he smirked at me made me want to hit him. But when I punched him in the shoulder, that smirk turned to a full blown smile. I had never seen Kanda smile so genuinely like that before. The way his cobalt eyes brightened nearly took my breath away. He kissed me briefly again, and then stared seriously at me. "Now that that's settled, I need an explanation from you. What was with that comment earlier about Lavi wanting to see you naked?"

I snorted. "He read something in some book, and ever since then he's been trying to find out which of the three of us has the biggest penis. I really don't get his obsession with it, but then again, I don't have one, so I'm probably never going to understand."

"So he doesn't know you're a girl?"

I shook my head. "Lenalee doesn't either. You're the only one on campus who does."

We stared at each other in silence for a few minutes before I broke it. "How is this going to work anyway?" At Kanda's confused expression, I clarified. "With you and me dating. Does this mean we're done fighting?"

"Well, seeing as the majority of the things I've said to you in the last year were said because I didn't want to admit out loud that I care about you, I don't see why we can't stop." He shrugged nonchalantly. "Besides, I'd much rather kiss you and hold your hand than yell at you."

While I gaped at his answer, he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me. "So, how is Allison different from Allen?"

Despite knowing what he was really asking, I couldn't help smirking at him. "Well, there's an I and an S and an O instead of an E."

Kanda snickered briefly in appreciation of the joke then flicked my ear. "That's not what I meant, Moyashi."

"I know." I sighed and leaned against his shoulder. "But honestly, the difference in letters really is the only difference. I told you last night, I'm still acting like myself. All I've changed is my name, and that's only so that I don't have to keep explaining myself to people."

I felt rather than saw him raise an eyebrow. "So the female you eats like a horse and swears like a British sailor?"

"Yep. I also prefer sports to shopping and think romantic comedies are stupid."

Kanda kissed me deeply in response, practically shoving his tongue into my mouth, and I certainly didn't object to the treatment. I whimpered when he pulled away. He smiled apologetically as he stood up. "I should go. If we continue like this, you're going to say something so irresistible that I end up jumping you, and I can tell from the way you're moving that you're sore from last night."

I blinked; I didn't think that he would be paying enough attention to pick up on that. He kissed my forehead and moved towards the door. "So, I'm going to go try to do damage control with Lavi, and you'll want to call Lenalee back before she has an aneurysm. Do you work tonight or are you free for dinner?"

"I have to work, but it's a short shift. I'll be off by eight if you don't mind doing a late dinner."

I made the suggestion not really expecting him to go for it. So it was quite a bit of a shock when his last words before he left were, "Perfect. I'll pick you up as soon as you're off."

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After I showered and got dressed, I talked to Lenalee. It was not exactly a pleasant conversation; she was too hung up on the fact that Kanda and I had had sex to be of any help with advice for dating him.

The rest of the day went exactly like normal. It was weird. Given that Lavi had literally caught us in bed together, and that the redhead had the biggest mouth of anyone I knew, I expected the entire campus to know what Kanda and I had done. But no one said anything about it. I could only conclude that Kanda had gotten to Lavi before the redhead could run his mouth off to anyone other than Lenalee.

The hardest part was that I didn't see Kanda around campus at all that day. I was bursting with questions about our relationship and our date that night, but I couldn't ask them because I never saw him. Even though I was ecstatic about what had happened, not seeing Kanda was making me really jumpy.

I was a nervous wreck by the time I arrived at work that night. There was fortunately enough to do around the store that I was able to keep my mind off of it, but as my shift wound down, all of my anxiety came back. Was Kanda really going to pick me up and take me out to dinner like he said? Or was he going to be a no-show? And as I gathered up my stuff to leave, I counted through my change, hoping it would be enough for the bus ride home.

When I stepped outside, I stared dumbly at the sleek black sedan in the parking lot. Or more accurately, I stared at the Japanese man sitting on its trunk. He was leaning back on his hands, intently watching the store entrance, his navy ponytail swaying slightly with the breeze. Kanda had actually come to pick me up, just like he said he would. "Oi! Moyashi! You coming or are you going to stand there with your mouth hanging open?"


	15. Chapter 14: Crazy Girl

A/N: I've been posting a lot of this story lately, so I was going to take a break from it and post other things, but I have nothing else to post. Everything else is either unfinished or has a set posting date that I want to stick to. I've also been really sick (I actually called in sick to work yesterday) and am operating on only two hours of sleep that happened over seventeen hours ago, so I don't really have the mental capacity for trying to post something new or important. Not that this story isn't important - it's one of the few stories I don't have writer's block on, so it is actually _very_ important to me right now. I'm just exhausted.

Anyway, it's time for Kanda's perspective on some things, and then the next chapter will be someone learning the truth about Allen! Dun, dun, dun...

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I had always known that women were crazy, but even armed with that knowledge, I still somehow managed to fall for the most batshit woman of them all. However, all things considered, that was only a minor annoyance in the grand scheme of things.

The only thing that seemed to matter was that the Moyashi was a woman. And that she wanted me as much as I wanted her.

We even made it through our first date without arguing with each other. It wasn't much of a date, just dinner out, but it was still nice. It felt amazing sitting across from her at the restaurant, with just the two of us and none of our friends around to distract us. Having her smile at me instead scowl was fabulous, and the way she laughed and threw fries at me when I embarrassed her was adorable.

In a way, it was weird. I knew the Moyashi was a woman, but she still looked and acted like a man. It was a little off-putting, being out on a date with a girl who was wearing men's clothing, but at the same time, it felt really good to be the one that she trusted with her secret. And not just because it meant that I got to have sex with her, though that was definitely a perk.

We didn't sleep together that night. And that was my decision, not hers. Even after going out on a date, I could tell that she still thought that sex was all I was after, so I walked her to her room and said goodnight without asking to come in. I wanted to prove to her that it was _her_ I wanted.

She did _not_ get it.

The Moyashi acted weird all through breakfast on Saturday, but it was so subtle that I almost missed it. On the other hand, that was also Lavi and Lenalee's fault, as they spent the entirety of the meal pestering us about our newfound relationship.

I didn't get to ask her about it until that evening, when I met up with her after work to study together, and by then it was driving me crazy. It took a few hours to wear her down and get her to be honest with me, but it was touching her shoulder that finally made her snap. She shoved me away and collapsed onto her bed. "I don't get you! One day you're so into me that you practically take me on the spot, and then the next you won't even touch me! Are you bored of me already? Did I say something at dinner last night that upset you? Was it something else?"

Learning that she was freaked out because I hadn't asked her for sex the night before nearly made me laugh. When she finally stopped yelling, I moved over to the bed, sat down on the edge, and brushed my fingers into her hair. "I thought you wanted me to prove that I wanted more than just sex from you, Baka Moyashi."

"Oh." The look on her face was priceless.

I leaned in and stole a quick kiss before whispering in her ear. "But if you've changed your mind..."

She shoved me away, laughing the whole time. "Ok, I get it."

I lay down beside her as she relaxed, and she smiled and laid her head on my shoulder. We lay in silence until she spoke again, and when she did, I could tell that she was blushing. "Sorry I freaked out on you. It's just that... after what happened Thursday... how intense you were that night... and then, when you add in how much we've fought in the past year... it's still so hard to believe that you actually want to be with me..."

"Moyashi." She stopped babbling when I interrupted. I sighed heavily, trying to figure out how to say what I meant in a way that she'd understand. "I know where you're coming from. I too have a hard time believing that all those insults you threw at me weren't your true feelings. The trick is just to keep reminding yourself that I like you."

I felt her nod, her white hair brushing against my skin. "I think I understand."

"And if you ever have trouble with that, just remember how I treat Lenalee." I couldn't see the confused expression on her face, but I was certain that it was adorable. "I know that you're a girl now. I'm never going to be able to go back to treating you like I used to."

That got a laugh out of her, and the tension between us vanished. We lay there for a little bit, just enjoying the moment, and I personally was very proud of myself for resolving our first disagreement as a couple without shouting at her - that had been a _very_ hard instinct to beat down.

The Moyashi sighed and nestled closer to me. "Kanda-"

"Yuu." Hearing her call me by my last name suddenly felt wrong. I had to correct her. "My first name is Yuu. You should use it."

She pushed herself up onto her elbow and stared critically at me. "Really? You nearly kill Lavi whenever he calls you that. You're going to let _me_ use it?"

"You're my girlfriend." The way her eyes sparkled made me feel really good inside, but that was when a different thought struck me. "Though I probably shouldn't get used to saying that. If we're going to keep pretending you're male, I need to get in the habit of calling you my boyfriend so I don't accidentally give us away."

That sparkle turned to tears as she once again rested her head on my shoulder and buried her face in my neck. "Thank you, Yuu."


	16. Chapter 15: Lenalee

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! As promised, it's time for someone to find out the truth about Allen...

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As was expected, Komui was making a fuss over me sharing a room with Allen at the retreat that weekend. I had hoped he'd let it slide, that he'd rather have me room with a boy that I knew than a girl who was a stranger, but it wasn't too surprising that that logic hadn't worked on him. He'd always been overprotective of me because of the difference in our ages, but he'd only gotten worse now that I lived with him instead of our parents. "Come on, Komui. You know Allen's dating Kanda. He's _gay_. Besides, he's terrified of you. He's not going to try anything."

He didn't listen to any of my arguments and just continued to whine about it until Allen arrived. He had clearly heard everything Komui was saying, as he set his bag down with a heavy sigh. Allen ran a hand through his hair and leaned back against the doorway. "I don't get what you're so worried about. I'm on my period. Nothing's going to happen."

Time seemed to stop as we both realized what he'd just said. Allen turned a bright shade of pink and looked down at the floor. I could only stare at him; I didn't even notice Komui leaving the room. If what Allen had just let slip was true, then _he_ was actually a _she_. I looked for physical proof in his appearance, and to my surprise, I found quite a bit; I don't know that I could identify any of those things, but I saw them nonetheless. "Allen? You're a girl?"

He nodded without meeting my gaze. I really didn't know how I felt about that revelation. Over the last year, Allen had become my best friend. I told him everything, and I thought he had reciprocated, but he had apparently been keeping something huge from me. With the chaos in my head, I voiced the only thing I could think of. "Does Kanda know?!"

The question was answered with a snort of derision and a heavy dose of sarcasm, but the fear never left Allen's eyes. "We've had sex, Lena. If he doesn't know then he's a moron."

I blushed in embarrassment over missing the obvious, but that embarrassment would be nothing compared to the mortification I would feel after hearing the answer to my next question. "And he's ok with you being transgender?"

The look on Allen's face made it perfectly clear that he was fed up with hearing things like that, but he masked it with a heavy sigh and moved over to the couch. He sat there for a moment before fixing me with a very serious stare. "Let's get one thing straight before we go any further: I am _not_ transgender. 'Trans' implies that I feel like a boy trapped in a girl's body or that even though I'm biologically female, I think I'm a man. And none of that's true. I am a girl. Biologically _**and**_ mentally. Got it?"

I nodded, too afraid of saying something stupid to talk. Allen sighed again and gave me a weary smile. "You don't have to feel bad, Lena. I'm used to it. People have been assuming that I'm transgender for nearly a decade now. It's because of that that I changed my name and enrolled in classes as a guy. I got tired of trying to explain myself all the time, so I decided to just let everyone think what they want to think and not let it bother me."

He- no, _she_ smiled hesitantly at me, but it fell when she started talking again, and her unshed tears were audible in her voice. "I've wanted to tell you for a long time now, Lena. I've never had a best friend before, much less one as great as you. But I could never bring myself to do it. It hurts me so much to know that I've been lying to you while you've given me nothing but love and honesty. I hope you can forgive me and that we can still be friends. I don't want to lose you."

I honestly didn't know what to think about any of this. Allen being a woman was such a completely unexpected surprise that I just couldn't process it. I didn't know if I even felt angry over being lied to, much less whether or not I wanted to forgive her for it. I needed more information. "You changed your name? So you named yourself Allen?"

Her short white hair bobbed as she nodded. "My real name is Allison."

I couldn't help frowning at that. "Allen fits you better."

She made a face at my comment. "You're just saying that because I look male."

After the comment, the room filled with awkward silence once again. Allen stared expectantly at me, but before I could figure out what to say next, a car horn blared from outside, announcing the arrival of our ride. I sighed heavily and moved to pull on my jacket. "I don't know how I feel about you right now, but I've known Kanda for nearly a decade. If he can not only accept this, but still want to be with you, then I have to at least try. So let's see how this weekend goes. Ok?"

Allen's tears fell freely as she embraced me in a tight hug. It was an unusual display of emotion, but that was easily because she was both distraught over the situation and hormonal from her period. She pulled away on her own when the car horn blared again, saving me the awkwardness of having to do it myself. As she grabbed her bag and headed out into the hall, I couldn't help staring at her backside. "You're really a girl?"

She turned back to smile disarmingly at me and then she was out the door. As I followed after her, I couldn't help wondering if she was really female or if the whole thing was a lie she'd made up to get Komui to shut up.

By the time the weekend was over, I not only knew without a doubt that Allen was female, but I was no longer upset that I'd been lied to. Instead, I was sad that I hadn't met Allen sooner. Her life had been one disaster after another, and I very much wished that I could have been there to support her during the tough times. She desperately needed a real friend to confide in.


	17. Chapter 16: Cousins

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews!

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As the three friends walked across campus together that day, Lenalee was mostly just trying to not freak out at watching Kanda hold hands with someone. The utter shock of discovering that Allen was a girl had worn off, and she was back to trying to wrap her head around the idea that her longtime friend was in a relationship where he actually liked publicly showing affection to his girlfriend. She had always thought that he was the type of guy who would only be romantic in private, so it was beyond weird to see him act so saccharine towards Allison. Whatever was going on between them was not just about sex, and Lenalee could not process that.

Allison and Kanda were unaware of why their companion was so quiet; they were just glad that she'd finally given up on pestering them about their relationship.

Their trek across campus to fetch the fourth member of their group came to an abrupt halt when they passed a group of prospective students on a tour.

Allen recognized that spiky blue hair the moment she laid eyes on it, and she immediately gave into her gut reaction to hide before she was noticed. She ducked behind Kanda, positioning him between her and the high schooler that she didn't want to see, but she wasn't fast enough. Her white hair was quite noticeable after all, and the blue haired girl had been watching for it while she mindlessly followed the guide around campus. Breaking away from the rest of the tour, the girl launched herself at Allison, greeting her with a kiss on the lips.

Allison shoved the spiky haired girl away from her rather roughly, acting before Kanda could get too pissed at the random stranger kissing his girlfriend. She all but snarled at the shorter girl as she picked herself up off the ground. "What the hell are you doing here, Road?"

Road was used to such treatment from her cousin, and she actually quite enjoyed riling the other girl up. She gave Allison a falsely innocent smile that sent a shiver up her spine. "I'm touring the campus. I'm thinking about coming to school here next year."

While the thought of Road attending the same school as her was terrifying, Allison didn't let the obvious lie distract her and called her bluff. "Bullshit. Sherril would never let you move this far away from him, and you've already got a full ride scholarship to his alma mater. So try again. Why are you here?"

"We came to surprise you, Shounen." Allison whipped around at the sound of her uncle's voice. It was bad enough that Road was here, she didn't want to have to deal with Tyki too. "We wanted to see you, but we knew that if we told you we were coming, you'd have gone into hiding."

Before Allison could shout at him, Lenalee grabbed her elbow and pulled her aside. She tried to whisper so that the strangers wouldn't hear her, but her concern for her friend made it difficult. "Allen? What's going on? Who are these people?"

Allison blushed at the reminder that she wasn't alone when Road had ambushed her. "Oh. Right. Umm, Lenalee, Kanda, this is Tyki and Road, my uncle and my cousin."

The new information only made Lenalee more concerned with what she'd just witnessed. "She's your cousin?! And she kissed you like that?!"

Allison shook her head as she glared sideways at Road. "We're not related by blood. Tyki is my adoptive father's nephew, and Road is Tyki's niece. By the way, Road, if you ever do that again, I'm going to let Kanda hit you."

Tyki laughed at that. "So you expect us to believe that the pretty boy is your bodyguard? Or are you just hoping we'll buy into the stereotype that Asian men are Kung Fu masters?"

His nonchalance made Allison snap at him. "Kanda's my boyfriend, not my bodyguard. I'm perfectly capable of defending myself. And it may be a stereotype, but in this case, it's true. He's got black belts in at least four different martial arts."

"Seven. I have seven black belts."

Kanda's correction was heard but not acknowledged; the visitors were too focused on the first thing Allison had said. Tyki actually dropped his cigarette in shock. "'Boyfriend'? So then, you've seduced a gay guy? Or have you given up on becoming a man?"

Allison punched him in the stomach, making him curl in on himself. "I was never trying to become a man, Tyki. Stop saying stupid things."

Road immediately latched herself onto Allison. "But what about me? I thought we had something special."

"In your dreams maybe." Allison growled at Road and resisted the urge to punch her too. "Go rejoin your tour and leave me alone."

Tyki spoke over Road's disappointed whining. "Can't do that, Shounen. We've got a care package for you back at our hotel."

While most people would be excited by a care package, Allison merely deadpanned at the thought of gifts. "Great. More useless crap from Neah. Is there _any_ chance at all that he sent something useful for a change?"

Tyki snorted, knowing full well the kinds of things Neah liked to give to his charge - even Road thought they were tacky. "What do _you_ think?"

Allison groaned overdramatically and buried her face in Kanda's jacket, her antics making him smirk in amusement. "Fine. Let's get this over with."

After a brief detour to collect Lavi like they were originally supposed to, they were on their way to Tyki and Road's hotel room. Allison's friends knew the basic story of how she had come to be in the care of her adoptive father's brother, and they were more than a little curious as to what he could possibly give her to get that kind of reaction out of their usually overly grateful friend. Road was all too happy to supply them with stories from the past several Christmases, and by the time they reached the hotel, Allison was even more ready to kill her cousin than she usually was.

To Allison's utter surprise - and everyone else's too - Neah's gift was more than useful. Instead of sending dresses or makeup like he usually did, Neah had sent his niece a brand new laptop. Allison was thrilled, she desperately needed a computer of her own for school, but the laptop wasn't anywhere near as exciting to her as the envelope full of restaurant gift cards was. After being in his care for over five years, Neah had finally figured his niece out.


	18. Chapter 17: Making Plans

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, follows, and favorites. It's time for the start of a bigger plot arc...

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While I was initially disappointed that I was no longer the only one who knew the Moyashi's secret, having Lenalee know was actually quite nice. I doubt we would have lasted more than those first few weeks without her around, and I was very grateful for that. Especially with how obnoxious Lavi was being with his fascination with our "homosexual relationship". The visit from Allison's cousins certainly hadn't helped ease his curiosity, and he was even worse after he reached the conclusion that Allen's family was trying to get him to transition into a woman. Lenalee was very good at distracting him whenever he got too overbearing.

Being with Allison was everything I had dreamed it would be, and I treasured every second of our time together. We had our ups and downs - that explosiveness we'd always had towards each other stuck around - but as cliché as it sounded, I truly was in love with my best friend. I was completely comfortable around her and was just as happy to sit and study with her as I was for our more physical activities.

We had one major fight in those first few weeks, but when it was over, we both just felt stupid for how we'd handled the situation.

Reluctantly following Lavi's advice, I had planned a surprise romantic date. The Moyashi reacted incredibly poorly to it, which in turn pissed me off, and we ended up having a shouting match in the middle of the dining hall. When we calmed down and discussed it rationally a few days later, I learned what I should have known all along: the rabbit was an idiot and had absolutely no clue what he was talking about. Allison hated spontaneity just as much as I hated trying to be spontaneous. Between her busy schedule of classes, work, and piano practice, the Moyashi needed our dates to be scheduled in advance, and that was actually how I preferred it too. If we had just listened to our instincts - if I had ignored what I knew was bad advice or she had simply told me that she was too busy to come out - we could have avoided the whole fight.

But on the other hand, because we'd had and resolved a major fight, we were that much closer to each other. And the closer we got, the better the sex became, and I was all for that. With each day that passed, it felt more and more like our relationship was going to stand the test of time.

I knew we'd made it to November when I started receiving repeated phone calls from Teidoll asking if I was coming home for Thanksgiving. I didn't want to go anywhere near that fiasco, but I had successfully wormed out of it last year, which meant that Teidoll was doing everything in his power to make me go this year.

I usually just silenced his calls, but as I was currently alone with Allison and Teidoll had been calling nonstop for the last hour, he was disrupting our studying. I needed to make him knock it off, and the quickest way to do that was to answer the phone. As I expected, he greeted me with the same request he'd been asking for the past month. "Please come home for Thanksgiving, Yuu."

"We've fucking been over this. I fucking have pla-" I cut off as I caught the dirty look the Moyashi had shot at me for swearing; seeing her had given me an idea. "Hold on a second."

I quickly muted the call and turned towards Allison. She was looking at me with her head tilted to one side, clearly curious over my phone call. "Hey, Moyashi. Do you have plans for Thanksgiving?"

She blinked in confusion, trying to figure out what that had to do with what was currently happening. "Just studying. Why do you ask?"

Ignoring her question, I returned to the call. I was pretty sure I'd come to regret what I was about to say, but if this worked, I finally had a way to get Teidoll off my back for good. "Fine. I'll come. But only if I can bring my girlfriend. And only if you promise to not pester us while we're there."

As I expected, Teidoll went crazy the second I said the word "girlfriend". I let him babble for a bit before I got annoyed and hung up the phone. When I turned back to the Moyashi, she looked like she was about to explode with curiosity. But she managed to keep it in, and instead just raised an eyebrow and stared calmly at me. "So where are we going?"

I let out a heavy sigh. "My adoptive father's house."

As I expected, the Moyashi flipped out. But instead of being pestered with questions about my adoption and my family, I found myself on the receiving end of a lecture about how it was too early in our relationship for her to _meet_ my father, much less spend an entire weekend with my family.

And when she was finally done with that, she moved on to complaining about how I'd introduced her as my girlfriend and how she was now going to have to actually act like a girl for the whole weekend. I knew she truly was angry, but I could only be happy that she was going to come; she wasn't trying to get out of it, she was acting like she knew she'd be convinced to come and was giving up the fight before it started. "Relax, Moyashi. That's not something you need to worry about. Just come as yourself. My oldest brother is blind, so he's not going to notice what gender you are. And the old man's gonna be too busy crying over the fact that I'm in a relationship to care what you're like. The only problem might be Daisya, but if he gets too annoying, you can just hit him and he'll shut up."

She giggled before smirking impishly at me. "You're giving me permission to beat up your brother?"

I laughed as I leaned over and kissed her. "Absolutely."


	19. Chapter 18: Teidoll

A/N: I know this isn't what you were expecting this week, but life got crazy and I wasn't able to write; and since I do have quite of few chapters of this story already written, I'm posting this so that you at least get something from me this week. ;)

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The second I laid my eyes on Daisya, I knew that Kanda hadn't been messing with me when he had told me that his family wouldn't care about my appearance. My scars and hair color truly wouldn't be a problem with Yuu's father if the man let his kid have that many tattoos and piercings. My gender on the other hand...

Daisya greeted us at the door. He gave me an odd look before turning away from us and yelling back into the house. "Hey, Teidoll! I thought you said he was bringing a girlfriend!"

Before I could react or even look to Kanda to see what _his_ reaction was, a frizzy haired man stepped into the room. He looked confused for a moment, but that look faded when he saw me. I expected him to say something about how much I looked like a boy, especially given how upset Daisya was, but instead, he broke out in a grin and started crying. Kanda grabbed my arm to pull me to the side, but he wasn't quick enough and I found myself wrapped in a bear hug.

I stood there stupidly while the man - who could only be Teidoll - sobbed over me, simultaneously feeling sorry for Yuu for having to deal with this while growing up and wondering what kind of child he was for his father to be _this_ overjoyed at meeting his girlfriend.

Kanda rolled his eyes and pushed his way inside, dragging me along with him. Teidoll finally let go of me, but he was met with an elbow to the ribs when he tried to latch on to Kanda. "Don't even try, old man."

If I had expected Teidoll to act like a normal person, I would have been surprised by the hands that suddenly brushed into my hair, but I was used to my relatives, who also had no boundaries, so it wasn't all that strange to have someone touch me like that. He may have been touching me, but Teidoll's attention was glued to Kanda. "I'll admit he's a cute boy, Yuu, but why did you feel the need to lie and say you were bringing a girl?"

Feeling like I needed to step in, I grabbed Teidoll's wrists and pulled his hands off my head, doing my very best to speak forcefully without sounding angry. "My name is Allison, sir. And I would appreciate it if you don't make that mistake again."

I stared sternly at him as it looked like he was about to argue with me, but instead, we were interrupted by deep laughter coming from the hallway. I looked to the doorway, expecting more teasing, only to see someone I recognized. While I gaped speechlessly at him, the blind man smiled brightly at me. "Allison Walker. I thought I recognized your voice. I never expected to see you here."

Kanda scoffed and mumbled under his breath. "Technically, you can't see her at all."

Ignoring him, I pulled away from a confused looking Teidoll and approached Marie. "Hey! How have you been? Are you still teaching summer school?"

"Sometimes." He laughed and immediately changed the subject back to me. "Last time I saw you, you were working hard on your college applications. You must have gotten in if you're the 'girl from school' that Kanda's dating. How'd the two of you meet?"

Kanda snorted and gave a one word answer. "Lenalee."

I rolled my eyes back at him. "Yeah, but we had classes together too. We'd have met even if she hadn't introduced us." When it looked like he was going to argue with me, I smirked darkly at him. "And I certainly still would have kicked your ass during that first night of judo."

Yuu returned my smirk. "Is that what you think happened that night, Moyashi?"

Four months ago, that high and mighty tone of his would have made me want to hit him, but now that we were a couple, it had a very different effect, and we ended up making out in front of his family.

The kiss did not last long though, as Teidoll burst into happy tears again and Daisya wolf whistled rather loudly. I blushed at the reminder that other people were around and tried to pull away, but while Kanda let me break the kiss, he continued to hold me close. I grumbled and swore under my breath at him. "I thought we agreed that you weren't going to be clingy in public."

He just snorted and rolled his eyes at me. "That only applies to school, Moyashi. You're fair game here."

I didn't fight the urge to loudly curse at him, and it wasn't long before we were bickering like an old married couple, which we had a tendency to do when we let our stubbornness get the best of us. Of course, we were standing in the middle of his adoptive father's living room, with other people present, so our petty fight came to an abrupt end when we realized that everyone was staring at us. I blushed and moved closer to Kanda in my embarrassment, which was a little ironic since that closeness was what had started our fight in the first place.

In the awkward silence that followed, Teidoll once again tried to wrap Kanda in a hug, but Yuu used me as a shield and I was the one who ended up in his father's grasp. I was incredibly confused as to why our fight had made Teidoll _happy_ , but then Marie laughed and his next words made it perfectly clear. "I didn't know you speak Japanese, Allison."

My blush deepened. When Kanda and I got really into our bickering, we often switched between English and Japanese with no rhyme or reason, which was apparently what we'd done today. While I worked to extricate myself from Teidoll's hold, Kanda answered Marie's question. "She lived in Japan for longer than I did."

When everyone just stared blankly at us, I added on to his explanation. "We actually went to school in the same town one year, but never crossed paths."

Expecting that to make them happy, it caught me a little off guard when Daisya snorted and rolled his eyes. "See? I told you Kanda paid her to pretend to be his girlfriend for the weekend."

That pissed me off more than a little. "Excuse me?"

When I lunged at him, Daisya paled and hid behind Marie. His voice was shrill and squeaky when he tried to calm me down. "Sorry. I didn't mean anything! That was about him! Not you!"

The comment made me livid. "Is that supposed to make a difference?"


	20. Chapter 19: Thanksgiving

Surprisingly, Thanksgiving dinner went off without a hitch. There was absolutely no drama over Allison or our relationship during the meal, which was quite surprising given that she ate almost half the food all by herself. Then again, her obnoxiously polite side was out in full force, and she was constantly complimenting Teidoll on his cooking and offering to help do things, so he was probably so impressed with her that he didn't even notice that she had eaten so much. Marie and Daisya clearly thought that she was making them look bad, as they were far more polite and helpful than they usually were. It wasn't until after dinner that Allison became the center of attention once again.

As was the routine with family meals, I had gotten roped into helping clean up, but I took the first opportunity to escape into the living room and turn on the football game. While I had only turned on the game because that was what was on TV on Thanksgiving, it was almost comical how quickly the sounds of people playing football attracted the Moyashi. She definitely hadn't been lying about how much she liked sports. We watched the game together, curled up in the same chair; it was more than a little awkward with how into the game she was getting, but I didn't mind because she was letting me touch her while other people were around.

The rest of the family eventually joined us in the living room, though none of them were really watching the TV. Teidoll was pretending to, but I caught the frequent glances he shot our way. He was clearly much more interested in my girlfriend than in the game, and now that the novelty of me being in a relationship had worn off, he was trying to determine if Allison was good enough to be with one of his 'precious sons'. It was incredibly irritating, but he was judging her silently, so I was willing to let him be.

Daisya, the soccer freak, couldn't stand football, so it was no surprise at all when he got bored and tried to get us to do something else. And without fail, his first suggestion for something new to do was the same thing it always was: a game of poker. I usually ended up caving and playing with him, since Marie couldn't and Teidoll would pressure me into it, so I was thankful that Allison was there and I would have a legitimate reason to ignore him. She was never going to give up on a football game to play cards.

It was therefore quite a shock that she was immediately curious about playing poker. "What are the stakes?"

Daisya pulled out the box of plastic chips that Teidoll made us use and showed it to her, clearly thinking that she was a typical girl and would be squeamish about playing for real money. "No stakes, just chips."

The look on her face said that he had just suggested that she should do her homework. She was doing nothing to hide the disappointment she felt, which made me wonder if she was messing with Daisya or if she actually was so upset that she couldn't hide it. "Aww, but that's no fun!"

Daisya faltered, clearly unsure of how to interact with a girl who refused to act like a girl. "Yeah, well, playing for money is just too stressful. We can play for-"

He was cut of abruptly by Teidoll. "There will be no gambling in this house, Daisya."

Allison smirked darkly, and I wasn't sure if she was still messing with Daisya or if she really was trying to test Teidoll's authority. "Does that mean we can gamble if we play outside?"

Daisya gaped at her, beating Teidoll to a response. "It's twenty-five degrees outside!"

"So?"

He blinked stupidly at her for a moment before giving up and dropping the issue. "You've got a serious problem."

She shrugged nonchalantly. "That's what it says on my arrest record."

It had been amusing watching their exchange, but this was clearly not just a joke. Allison had actually been arrested. It was a jarring revelation given that she had always seemed so sweet and innocent when it came to things like that. "Moyashi?"

My unasked question was answered with a devious smirk. She was clearly enjoying herself, but I needed answers, so I pressed. "You've been arrested?"

Her smirk fell to a serious smile as she nodded. "Five times. Three times for underage gambling, once for underage possession of alcohol, and once for beating the shit out of a guy who was trying to rape me."

"That doesn't make me feel better, Moyashi." It was a sentiment echoed by my family. They all looked put off by the idea of having someone with a criminal record in the house. And for the first time ever, Teidoll and I were on the same page; we were both torn between not liking the crimes she had committed and worrying over the fact that she was almost raped.

Allison seemed to know exactly why the room had gone silent, as she smiled disarmingly and explained further. "I was never charged with anything. My foster father was the one who'd given me the alcohol, and I hadn't drunk any of it, so they let me off with a warning. And it turns out that the guy I beat up was wanted for raping children and then posting the videos online, so he's in prison for life and I was given a reward for helping catch him. And after my third arrest for gambling, the cops finally figured out that it was Cross forcing me to do it, so they pulled me out of foster care and tracked down my real family - well, my adoptive father's family, not my biological family, but it was infinitely preferable to staying with Cross."

While that was good to hear, it definitely didn't make me feel better. I narrowed my eyes at her, trying to get her to be serious. "I'm more concerned about the rape, Moyashi."

She just laughed and rolled her eyes at me. "I was twelve. And he didn't even get my shirt unbuttoned before I broke his nose." Her smirk turned into a gentle smile as she leaned in and whispered in my ear. "You are the only man who's ever touched me."


	21. Chapter 20: Love and Marriage

A/N: Thanks for the reviews!

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Teidoll may not have heard what Allison had whispered to Kanda, but given that his reaction was to pick her up and carry her bridal style out of the room, it wasn't hard to guess where they were headed next. While his old-fashioned sensibilities objected to the thought of one of his sons having premarital sex under his roof, Teidoll was mostly just happy that anti-social Kanda had found a woman willing to sleep with him without him paying her or getting her drunk first, especially when that woman was as fascinating as Allison. He may have only known her for a few hours, but Teidoll was definitely starting to like Allison; she seemed to be an excellent match for Yuu.

When he had first heard that Kanda wanted to bring a date to Thanksgiving dinner, Teidoll had suspected that Daisya was right, that Kanda's girlfriend was ruse to get them off his back, but having met Allison and seen them together, there was absolutely no way that they were pretending. As unbelievable as it was, the girl had actually gotten Kanda to show concern for another human being. Teidoll had been tilting at that particular windmill for over a decade, ever since that emotionally scarred boy had first ended up in his care, but Allison had managed to pull it off after only a few months of dating Kanda. She really was something special, and Teidoll was looking forward to spending the rest of the weekend interrogating her.

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Having sex in Kanda's childhood bedroom while his family was just sitting around downstairs was something that would have absolutely mortified me - had I actually been given the chance to think about it. But Kanda definitely wasn't letting me think about anything other than what he was doing to my body. My mind was blank with bliss for quite a while after he carried me from the living room.

In retrospect, I should have known that telling him anything about my past would have that effect on him. He may not have acted like the perfect boyfriend, there were no gifts or flowers or romantic gestures, and half the things he said to me bordered on insults, but he genuinely cared about my wellbeing. Yuu hated it when I bottled things up and liked to provoke me into sharing my feelings with him. Whenever I asked him about it, he would say that being honest with each other would make the sex better, but I had figured out recently that that was just his pride trying to save face. Yuu simply didn't know how to say, "I love you".

It had been scary at first, realizing that he was in love with me, and I desperately tried to figure out when it had happened. But as I looked back over our relationship and tried to analyze how he'd been treating me, I couldn't find the point at which his feelings had gone from attraction to something more than that, and the only reason that made sense was if he'd been in love with me before we'd ever slept together. Which certainly explained why he had been so willing to pretend that I was male. And it was only confirmed by him wanting to take me home and introduce me to his family.

From Kanda's point of view, our relationship was leading to marriage.

I certainly wasn't going to break up with him just because he already wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, I liked him too much for that, but marriage wasn't something I wanted out of life. We could date, and maybe even live together someday, but I was never going to marry him. I just wasn't the domestic type.

And I don't know why, but it was that afternoon, as I was lying in his bed at his father's house, that I told him that. "I'm not going to marry you."

Kanda gave me a confused look, clearly wondering why I had said such a thing out of the blue like that, but then he simply nodded at me. "I know."

The calmly spoken words surprised me. I had expected him to try to change my mind, or at the very least, deny that he was thinking about marriage. "Aren't you going to try to argue with me?"

"No." Yuu kissed me once before climbing from the bed and starting to put his clothes back on. Before I could ask why, he explained. "You've only just figured out who you are, Allen. I'm not going to take that freedom away from you."

His use of my male name surprised me; he only ever called me "Moyashi", claiming that it would keep him from slipping up and giving me away as a girl. I briefly wondered what he meant by that before it clicked. It was when I started pretending to be Allen that I finally felt like I was free to be my real self, and he understood that. And it wasn't just because I had told him so that he understood. Yuu had personal experience with what I'd been going through.

Or at the very least, he thought he did. And I highly doubted that the drop dead gorgeous man in front of me had any idea what my childhood had really been like. "But you don't deny that you want to marry me. So what is it? What traumatic incident from your perfect suburban life makes you think that you've been in my shoes?"

He sighed heavily as he ran his fingers through his hair, and I expected him to change the subject, but instead, he actually answered my question. "Something happened to me when I was a child. I don't know what, because I have almost no memories of anything before my ninth birthday. It took me several years to regain any semblance of a personality, and I don't have to tell you just how helpful Lavi and Lenalee were with that. Our circumstances may be different, but I really have been where you are right now. I remember how good it felt to finally feel like I was in control of my own life. So, yes, I know that I want to marry you, but I'm willing to wait for you to be ready to marry me. And if you never are, that's fine too. As long as it's still me you want to be with, I don't care if we never make this official."

When I just gaped at him, completely unable to think of a single thing to say, he dropped my clothes on top of my face. "None of this matters right now anyway. You've still got three years of school left, and if you hadn't brought this up today, I wouldn't have even mentioned marriage until after you graduated. I'm perfectly content to leave things as they are between us. So stop stressing yourself out overthinking this. You've got more important things to worry about."

"Such as...?

"Teidoll waiting downstairs to ask you nonstop questions about your life."

That was a terrifying thought, and I scowled fiercely at Yuu to hide just how scared I was. "You could have at least warned me that he was going to be like that."

Kanda just rolled his eyes at me. "I _tried_ , Moyashi. You were too worried about how he'd react to your looks to listen."

I didn't have an argument for that, so I let the conversation drop. After I'd finished getting dressed, I decided it was time to press Yuu one last time before we went back downstairs. "Are you ever going to actually say 'I love you' to me?"

He shrugged as he headed out the door. "Not until you're ready to say it back."


	22. Chapter 21: Parenting

A/N: As always, thanks for the reviews and favorites and follows. 

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When we finally made our way back downstairs, I was already prepared for Teidoll to pull me aside and lecture me about what we'd just done. It may not have happened to _me_ before, but I'd witnessed enough teenage escapades to know that it was coming. Teidoll had a very strict "no drugs or sex in my house" rule, and while he may not have been a disciplinarian, his disappointed father act could be quite terrifying when he wanted it to be. He'd lost more than one foster kid to his "I expected better of you" talk.

But while I'd been expecting the private chat, the lecture never came. After he pulled me into the kitchen, he gave me a smile that was clearly torn between disappointment and pride. "Look. I know what you and Allison just did upstairs. I won't try to forbid it from happening again, but can you at least promise me that you'll be safe? I may want grandkids, but the last thing I need is to have your illegitimate child running around."

"Relax, old man. She's on the pill. We want an accidental pregnancy even less than you do. As for whether or not you get grandkids someday, we've only been together for a few months. You better not say anything to her that scares her off." That almost made me laugh. If our little marriage talk earlier hadn't scared her off, there was no way Teidoll could do it by talking about grandchildren. In fact, she'd probably be even better at shutting him up than I would.

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Sitting in the living room with Kanda's siblings while his father pulled him aside to talk in private was beyond awkward. We all knew that it was because he and I had just had sex - despite the fact that we were both consenting adults, not randy teenagers - and I had no clue what to say to them or how to act around them. I was beyond mortified by how carried away I'd gotten earlier.

Daisya was very obviously excited that Kanda was in trouble, as he had his ear pressed against the door, trying to listen to what Teidoll was saying to him. He didn't need to eavesdrop though. We could all hear what Teidoll was saying as clear as if they were still in the same room as the rest of us.

While I was glad that Kanda wasn't really in trouble and Teidoll was just making sure that we had used protection, Daisya definitely did not take it the same way. He and Kanda had a very similar relationship to the one Kanda and Lavi had, with the major difference being that Kanda would probably admit to liking Daisya. "That's not fair! I got read the riot act just for sneaking a girl in after curfew, and all he gets is 'be careful'? Talk about a double standard!"

Marie laughed and spoke up in Yuu's defense. "Stop being dense, Daisya. Kanda's twenty-one, while you were barely fifteen when that happened. You really can't compare the two events. Besides, Teidoll has always held Kanda to a different standard from the rest of us. You know that. He let you skate by with C's and D's, but if Kanda ever got anything lower than a B, he would have been grounded for a week."

I unconsciously flinched at that, remembering the one time Cross had hit me when I was in his care. But no one noticed and Daisya continued to whine. "That doesn't change the fact that he's Teidoll's favorite."

"You really think I _want_ to be that sentimental old fool's favorite child?" Kanda smacked Daisya in the head as he passed; if we could hear their conversation, it made perfect sense that they could hear ours, and Yuu was understandably annoyed with his brother.

Ignoring Daisya's reaction to being hit, Kanda sat down next to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. "Moyashi?"

"Yeah?"

"Why'd you flinch when Marie was talking about grades?"

 _So much for no one noticing my reaction._ If I wanted to avoid talking about this, it was time for my best poker face. "What are you talking about? I didn't flinch."

Kanda looked confused, like he couldn't tell that I was lying yet knew that he hadn't imagined my earlier reaction. Marie, on the other hand, couldn't see my face and therefore didn't buy the lie. "Yes, you did."

Yuu scowled at me, but then it shifted to that look that begged me to be honest with him, and I crumbled instantly. "It's nothing really. My foster father hit me the one time I got a B."

The violent stream of curses that followed would have been completely expected, had Kanda been the one saying them, but we were all shocked to find that it came from Teidoll; even his sons weren't used to hearing him swear. I'd learn later that he had fostered more than a dozen kids over the years and he took the welfare of children quite seriously, but at the time, all the outburst did was confuse me. I'd apparently pissed him off pretty bad earlier when we were talking about my arrests, and he was now ranting about how many unfit and abusive parents there were in the foster system.

Hearing Teidoll get so worked up on the subject of abuse made me feel like sticking up for Cross. Sure, he'd had a lot of flaws, but I was never in any physical danger from him. I couldn't let a complete stranger accuse him of things he'd never done. "It was an accident. I'd missed a test and hadn't done the make up yet when the midterm grades came out. Cross was drunk when he read the report card, and he overreacted and threw an empty beer bottle. He'd been aiming for the wall, but he hadn't counted on the bottle breaking and sending shards of glass everywhere. The next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital with stitches in my head."

I was going to say more, but when Daisya interjected, I paused to let him say his piece. "Wait. That's a scar on your face? I thought it was a tattoo. It looks too perfect to be from a broken bottle."

Regretting letting him speak, I leaned closer to Yuu and tried to draw on his strength to keep my temper in check. "That's from the car accident that killed my father."

While Daisya realized that he'd said something insensitive and apologized, one of Yuu's hands was suddenly in my hair, and to my surprise, his fingers immediately found the raised scar on my scalp from the incident. I answered his questioning look with a nod and then changed the subject in a way that did nothing to hide how uncomfortable I was. "And that's enough personal details about me, people I barely know. Let's talk about something else."


	23. Chapter 22: History

A/N:

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My request to talk about something other than my personal life did not go over all that well. The room fell into silence and we all just sort of stared uncomfortably at each other. It was in that moment that I realized that I wasn't just the first girlfriend that Kanda had brought home, I was the first girlfriend that _any_ of those boys had brought home. None of them had any clue how to act around me.

Before the silence got too oppressive, Marie finally spoke. And while I was grateful that he was changing the subject, I was not prepared for what he changed it to. "Well Kanda, it makes perfect sense that you'd end up with a music student. But I'm curious, was that a coincidence or did you seek one out when you decided to start dating?"

The question confused me. Yuu had never once expressed any interest in my piano skills or in music in general, so it was weird to me that Marie thought he'd want to date a musician. But while I had expected the question to make Kanda angry, he didn't seem at all offended by it. "I wasn't looking for a girlfriend. She just showed up in my life out of the blue. We've had science and martial arts classes together. I tend to forget that she's there to study piano."

I couldn't help adding on to his explanation. "I was under the impression that he doesn't even like music."

That made Marie laugh. "When we were kids, he would always sneak out of his room to come listen to me play. The way he would just sit there quietly and listen was oddly fascinating. But I'm sure you know that. You're so much better than I could ever hope to be, he must be even more focused when he listens to you."

Once again, I was confused. And it was only made worse by the way Yuu calmly corrected Marie. He actually seemed to be confirming that unbelievable story. "Actually, I've never heard her play."

"The piano is still in the den. We can change that right now." Teidoll was suddenly in my personal space, grabbing my wrists and pulling me from my seat.

Before I could protest or even process what was happening, I found myself dragged into the other room. My eyes immediately went to the small upright piano in the corner, and as I instinctively made my way over to it, I only vaguely noticed Teidoll closing the door behind him and leaving me and Kanda alone in the den.

I experimentally played a few scales to test the tuning, finding that the piano was in much better shape than I had expected it to be. Meanwhile, Yuu sat down on the floor and reclined back against the piano bench. His eyes drifted closed as I pressed the keys beneath my fingers, and while I played the simple lullaby I usually used as a warmup, he almost looked happy. It was so stunning that I almost forgot to keep moving my fingers.

As I continued to play random tunes, Kanda suddenly started talking. That was weird enough by itself, but it was especially weird that he was talking about his past. "Before Teidoll adopted us, Marie and I lived in the same orphanage. This was just after I'd lost my memory, and it was a very confusing time for me. I was having a hard time fitting in with the other kids there and got in a lot of fights."

Despite the seriousness of the subject, I snorted at that. "So you were being your usual anti-social self."

Yuu clicked his tongue in annoyance, but he continued to talk. "I tried to run away a few times, but every time, I'd end up in the room where Marie was playing the piano. There was something about the music that drew me to it. It was like I could think clearly when I was listening to him play. I learned later that my father was a music teacher, so I was probably attracted to the piano because it was familiar, but at the time, I was dealing with being orphaned and losing my memory, and listening to the music was just a moment of serenity in which my life seemed to make sense."

Kanda fell silent after that, so I pressed, wondering if his talkative mood would continue. "So what happened after that?"

He shrugged. "Marie and I became friends, and I stopped trying to run away."

The half answer almost made me laugh, but I wanted to know the rest of the story, and laughing at him was not the way to get him to open up. "Yuu..."

When I sighed, Kanda suddenly smirked up at me. He was apparently getting a kick out of pushing my buttons. But the smirk was only there briefly before it melted back into that content smile and he continued the story. "Teidoll was already in the process of adopting Marie when I arrived at the orphanage. He took one look at me and decided to adopt me too. It was really strange having a man I'd never met before call himself my father, but I was more than willing to put up with a little oddity if it meant leaving the orphanage behind. They had labeled me special needs because of my amnesia and I was tired of being treated like I was retarded."

Yuu was such a confident and well-adjusted adult that it was hard to picture him as a broken child, but I could see why he would have hated being treated like that. Even as a child, he would have despised being coddled and having his hand held.

"Keep playing, Moyashi."

I turned my focus back on the piano, and after a few minutes, Kanda continued with his story. "I don't really know what I was expecting, but it wasn't what I got from Teidoll. He already had Daisya and had just adopted Marie, who was blind, but I never fell through the cracks. Teidoll treated me like a normal kid and paid attention to my likes and dislikes. It was his idea for me to take karate, and he even homeschooled me until I was able to relearn everything I'd forgotten."

He fell quiet, but once he gathered his thoughts, he started talking again. Only, I was not expecting the subject change. "Teidoll may be one of the most annoying people I know, but he's done a lot for me, and I wouldn't be where I am without him. So I guess I understand why you don't like to talk bad about your foster father; he may not have been ideal, but he kept you fed and off the streets. That being said, if I ever meet him, I'm going to beat the shit out of him for hurting you."


	24. Chapter 23: Sports

A/N: In case you guys couldn't tell that I'm exhausted and working too hard, I formatted last chapter with an author's note and then never wrote one. -_- Oops. Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing, etc. I appreciate all of it!

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The quiet moment at the piano was interrupted when we were called for dinner. Rather predictably, the Moyashi stopped playing and practically bolted from the room at the mention of food. While I was disappointed that our private time had ended so soon, I was also relieved that I had an excuse to stop talking about myself. I hadn't expected my history to just spill out like that while she was playing, and who knows what I would have told her if we had continued on like that. I might have actually said those three words that I had promised her I wouldn't say until she was ready.

We weren't alone again for more than five minutes for the rest of the weekend.

Teidoll put Allison in the guest room that night, saying that she'd be more comfortable in there than in my bedroom. And though he had said he wouldn't try to prevent us from having sex, the guest room was right next to his bedroom, so I wasn't even going to try to sneak in there, and he probably knew that and put her there on purpose. It was irritating, but I didn't mind too much once the Moyashi told me that her period had started; she didn't like having sex during that time of the month, and I respected that.

However, while it was Teidoll keeping us apart at night, it was Daisya who prevented us from having any more private moments at the piano. And he was the one I was frustrated with. It was not our job to entertain him when he was bored.

He wouldn't let up with his complaining on Friday - probably because he was pouting about no one wanting to go make fun of the Black Friday shoppers with him - and none of the suggestions of games or movies shut him up. It was the Moyashi who finally came up with something that I thought would keep him quiet for a while. "We could go outside and play some football. I know it's cold out there, but the physical activity will keep us warm."

Unfortunately, Daisya frowned and immediately started complaining. "I hate football. It's such a pointless game. I don't see how-"

While I suppressed the urge to laugh at the way he had clearly mistaken the Moyashi's suggestion, which she had probably done on purpose, Allison frowned and interrupted his rant. "But you're wearing a football shirt..."

The look of confusion on Daisya's face was priceless. He studied his shirt for a moment before focusing back on Allison. "This isn't football. You must not know sports teams very well if you think-"

He clearly still didn't get what the Moyashi was really suggesting, and that was no longer amusing. "She's British, retard. She's talking about soccer."

Daisya's embarrassment quickly turned to anger. "Then why didn't she just say that?!"

Allison just shrugged innocently, confirming my suspicion that she had used the British terminology on purpose to mess with him. "I've traveled internationally a lot, but I've mostly lived in the US and Japan - places where it's called soccer, so that's the word I usually use. Mostly because American football is one of my favorite sports and it gets confusing calling them both the same thing. But like Kanda said, I am British. And we're pretty serious about football. Calling it soccer is sacrilege and I would never do so in front of a true fan of the game." Her calm smile morphed into a disappointed frown. "Which is what I _thought_ you were. I guess I was wrong..."

Daisya, predictably, was quite offended by that, and he launched into an explanation of all the teams he'd played on and all of his athletic highlights. I had heard it all before, so I didn't listen to a word he said. Though it was amusing watching him try to get the Moyashi's approval; there was a reason he was still single. If the look on her face was anything to go by, he was failing miserably. And when he finally shut up, she just shrugged in response. "If that's the case, why don't we go play?"

"But you're a girl." That was the stupidest thing that Daisya could have possibly said in that moment.

Though Allison's friendly smile remained plastered on her face, I saw her jaw clench and felt the fury flowing off of her. "And girls can't play sports?"

Daisya definitely didn't realize that he was walking into a trap. "Not against boys. We'd be too outmatched. You can't possibly keep up with me."

The Moyashi pushed herself off of my lap and crossed her arms over her chest as she stared Daisya down. Her fury was written all over her face, and I suddenly understood exactly why she was pretending to be a boy at school - she was beyond tired of dealing with sexist idiots. "You better be prepared to eat those words."

Daisya laughed like he was humoring her as he too got to his feet. "Alright then, I'll go get a ball."

As I moved to follow them outside, unsure if I was just going to watch or if I was going to have to try to referee their game, a thought occurred to me. I turned towards Teidoll, who was just starting to get up from his chair. "You better go get the first aid kit now; we're going to need it when they're done."

He laughed, but he still moved towards the kitchen. "Allison's quite the hothead, isn't she? She's going to get herself hurt by being so competitive."

I rolled my eyes at that. It was a valid assumption - if the Moyashi were a normal girl, but Allison was far from normal. "It's for Daisya. He said some very sexist things. She's going to slaughter him."

The one-on-one match ended nearly an hour later, when Daisya tripped and rolled his ankle. He conceded the game, not wanting to risk a serious injury in a play match, but he was down by several points, so even though he tried, he couldn't argue that he only lost because he forfeit. Allison had undeniably beaten him.

Having had enough of his whining, I smacked him upside the head and shoved him towards Teidoll and the first aid kit. "Just be glad she picked a non-contact sport. Otherwise we might be taking you to the hospital."

Ignoring his reply, I turned my focus on where Allison was standing triumphantly in the middle of the yard. The Moyashi was covered from head to toe in mud and grass stains. She was breathing heavily - whether from the cold or because she was actually tired, I couldn't tell - and she had the beginning signs of a rather nasty black eye. But all I saw was her radiant smile. She had never looked more beautiful.


	25. Chapter 24: Revenge

Upset over the outcome of their soccer match, Daisya snuck away that night to make some phone calls and dig up whatever dirt he could on Allison and her relationship with Kanda. Lenalee immediately knew what he was after and refused to tell him anything, doing everything she could to try to convince him to let go of his wounded pride without spilling any of Allison's secrets. Lavi, on the other hand, didn't know that there were secrets to hide, so he was not nearly as careful, and he didn't hesitate to tell Daisya all about Kanda's homosexual relationship with a boy on campus. The two stories were conflicting, but it only took Daisya a few minutes to decide that Lavi's story was true and that Allison really was someone Kanda was paying to pretend to be his girlfriend.

He debated blackmailing Kanda with his discovery, but in the end, he decided that it would be much more entertaining to confront Kanda in front of everyone at breakfast the next morning. He wasn't just upset over losing to Allison, he also really wanted to see Kanda get in trouble with Teidoll. So when the moment was right, and there was a lull in Teidoll's fawning over the pair, Daisya sprung what he'd learned on them. "So, Kanda, I talked to your friends last night, and according to Lavi, you're dating a _boy_ at school named Allen. You apparently came out as gay at the beginning of the semester, yet you brought a girl home with you. Care to explain?"

Allison dropped her tea in shock, the mug shattering as it hit the floor. She hadn't expected that to come up, but she really should have been; she should have known that Kanda's family would have contact with his childhood friends and that they would expose her secret. Well, Lavi would - that's why they hadn't told him anything, but she didn't doubt that Lenalee had kept her mouth shut. The question now was how to get this situation under control, and she had no ideas.

Teidoll was stunned speechless, unable to comprehend the news that his favorite son had been lying to him for the past several days. He was so positive that everything he'd seen between Allison and Kanda was real, and it didn't make sense to him how any of that could have been a lie, yet it was all apparently a ruse to hide Kanda's true sexual orientation from him. Both the lying and lack of trust were uncharacteristic behavior for Kanda, and while that was upsetting and disappointing, Teidoll was too confused to act on any of those feelings.

Kanda was not nearly as tongue-tied as the others were. He was definitely pissed off by Daisya accusing him of lying to them. Again. He glared death at his "brother" while moving to help the Moyashi clean up her spilled tea. "Allison _is_ Allen, moron. You've seen what she's like. She goes by a boy's name at school so that she doesn't have to deal with sexist jerks like you judging her."

Used to such insults from Kanda, Daisya pressed on with his original argument. "But Lavi said-!"

"Because he doesn't know." Allison finally found her voice, though it was hard for her to keep her anger buried. "Lenalee and Kanda are the only people on campus who know that I'm female. We don't trust Lavi to keep the secret, so we haven't told him."

That set Teidoll off, and he immediately started lecturing the pair on honesty and how it wasn't good to lie to their friends. He was ignored.

Daisya was pissed that his attempt to get Kanda in trouble was failing, so he pushed further, trying to get their carefully constructed story to break. "Prove it."

Allison merely rolled her eyes and snorted at the demand. She pulled her wallet from her back pocket, slipping out her student ID card and practically throwing it at Daisya. While he stared at the plastic card in disbelief - the picture was undeniably of Allison, yet the information printed next to it clearly identified her as male - she glared challengingly at him. "That good enough for you?"

In fact, the ID looked so real that Daisya began to doubt what he was seeing in real life. Maybe the lie was that Allison was a girl. After all, she did look remarkably masculine. And if the goal behind lying was to hide Kanda's sexual orientation, having his boyfriend claim that he was female would accomplish the same thing as hiring a fake girlfriend. "So you're really a boy? And you lied about being a girl so Kanda wouldn't have to tell Teidoll that he's gay?"

Marie nearly choked on his toast at the idiotic conclusion Daisya had reached; he may not have known what Allison looked like, but she was undoubtedly female. Kanda wanted to throttle Daisya for the comment, but Teidoll was hugging him and wouldn't let go. And Allison had reached the end of her patience.

She glared at Daisya as she snatched her ID card back from him. "If you really don't believe me, there are some used tampons in the bathroom trash that you could go look at."

All four of the men in the room shot her queasy looks for that suggestion, but she ignored them; she was beyond done with this conversation and just wanted it to end. Daisya was the first to recover, but he only got two words out before Marie jumped in. "Just drop it, Daisya. Before one of them hits you."

Daisya dropped his attention to his food and didn't say another word for the rest of the meal. He would recover from his embarrassment and return to pestering them about Allison's gender several times throughout the day, but at least for the moment they got some peace and quiet.

Allison couldn't help grumbling at Kanda as she left the room to fetch a new cup of tea. "You should have just let me come as Allen. Then we wouldn't have had to deal with any of this bullshit."


	26. Chapter 25: Time

A/N: And with this, the trip to Teidoll's is officially over.

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While that had not been my intention in inviting her to spend Thanksgiving with my family, I had learned a lot more about Allison over the course of the weekend than I had in the four months I'd been dating her. That was a very good thing when I was so certain that she was the girl that I would spend the rest of my life with, but it was even better as it meant that something good had come out of the weekend. Because having Teidoll meet my girlfriend did the exact opposite of what I had been hoping it would. Now that he knew I had a girlfriend, he was on my case even more than he was before. The old man used to only call me if he needed something or wanted me to come to a family event, but after that weekend, he started calling me much more frequently and all he ever wanted to do was talk about how things were going between me and Allison. It was horribly frustrating having that plan backfire on me like that.

But the closeness that the Moyashi and I had gained was definitely worth it. We were a better couple because of everything that had happened that weekend. She actually beat me to "I love you", saying the words on the train ride back to school.

It took me by surprise, since she hadn't been ready to even _hear_ those words three days earlier, but I wasn't about to complain about her changing her mind. I was going to reciprocate, but before I could say a single word, she placed a hand firmly over my mouth. "Don't you dare say any of the things you're thinking. I know what they are, and I still don't want to hear them. I just want you to know that I love you. It may not be anywhere near as deep as you seem to love me, but I do feel that way about you. You're not wasting your time on me and you're not stuck in a one-sided relationship. I-"

I pulled her hand away and shut her up by kissing her. Apparently, she had only confessed because she was worried that I felt like she was stringing me along. "I don't feel that way at all. It's not that you don't care about me; you're just not in a place where you can think about the future. And I've told you before, I'm perfectly fine with that."

She frowned at me, clearly not believing me, so I switched tactics. "Taking you to meet my family was just a way to spend time with you outside of school and away from Lavi and Lenalee. I wasn't seeking their approval of you, and I wasn't trying to pressure you into taking a big relationship step. All I wanted was to be with you, and maybe get Teidoll to leave me alone for a change."

"But-"

I pulled her onto my lap, loving the way she cuddled closer to me. "This right here is all I want from you, Moyashi. We don't have to put any labels on it. I don't care if your name is Allen or Allison-"

She pouted at that. "Because you're just going to keep calling me 'Moyashi'."

I laughed but ignored the comment. "All I want is you. I love you just the way you are, commitment-phobia and all. Nothing about our relationship has to change until after you graduate, and even then, that may not be the case. That's a bridge we'll cross once we reach it. For the next two and a half years, things between us can stay exactly the way they are."

And they did.

For the remainder of my days at school, my everyday relationship with the Moyashi stayed exactly the same as it was before that Thanksgiving weekend. We went on dates, studied together, and had sex, all while maintaining our separate dorm rooms and routines, just like we always did. We lived in the moment and never talked about the future of our relationship again.

After I graduated, I was fortunate enough to find a great job in a laboratory in the same city as our school. The Moyashi had made me promise that I would take whatever job was best for my career, even if that meant moving away from her, and although I knew she was right from a logical standpoint, my heart wanted to stay close to her, so I was thankful that the job that was closest to her was also my best job prospect and I could take it without lying to her.

I got an apartment in the city. It was within walking distance of work, but it was still close enough to campus that Allison could spend the night whenever she wanted to. I was disappointed that that was only once or twice a week, but with her still being in school and me trying to adjust to working full time, living apart was what was best for both of us, so I bit my tongue and didn't tell her that I wanted her to move in with me. At least, not until I was absolutely certain that I would be able to convince her the very first time I asked.

And once I found the right approach, I asked and she agreed in a heartbeat. The Moyashi may have been easily swayed by her emotions like a typical woman, but she responded really well to logic, especially when that logic was financially based. All I had to do was point out that it was cheaper to live together than it was to live apart, and she didn't hesitate to agree to move in with me once she graduated.

But that was as far as it went. We didn't talk about whether living together meant separate bedrooms or if it meant a pseudo-engagement - or even an actual engagement. But while I wanted to know what she was thinking, I didn't press the issue. That was a conversation that could wait until we were actually getting ready to move in together. For now, it was enough that she had agreed to live with me. As long as that gorgeous woman still wanted to be with me, I was perfectly fine with letting her set the pace of our relationship.


	27. Chapter 26: Panic

A/N: I asked you guys a while ago if you wanted this story in two pieces or in one. If you couldn't tell from the time skip in the last chapter, I decided to go with one. This chapter marks the start of a new major plot arc.

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The start of my senior year of college was bittersweet. Kanda and Lavi may have graduated and moved off campus, but I still saw them frequently, and my social life was as vibrant as it had always been; I, or rather, Allen remained popular and liked. However, knowing that this was the end of what was sure to be the happiest period of my life made it hard to fully enjoy it. Sure, I'd still have my loving boyfriend and my closest friends after I graduated, but the end of my time at school potentially meant the end of Allen, and I didn't want to give him up. College had been my golden era and I didn't want it to end.

Granted, I didn't even sort of know that I'd have to stop pretending to be male once school ended. The odds were that I would be able to continue on as I had been. After all, none of the things I was planning to do with my degree were gender specific, so there was no real career reason for me to have to go back to being Allison. And I knew Yuu didn't care which gender I chose to live my life as; he had told me point blank that if he did get his way and we ended up getting married, he would say whichever name I wanted him to say at the altar. But the possibility that I would have to stop being Allen still nagged at me. It wasn't enough to hamper my enjoyment of my final year of school, I still lived every day to the fullest, but in those quiet moments between my various classes and activities, I couldn't help thinking about it.

I thought I was doing ok, but I was apparently depressed enough over the whole thing to actually agree to move in with Kanda after graduation. Then again, despite how much we argued, he really did know how to convince me to see things his way, and he had made some excellent points about the financial advantages of sharing an apartment. But after winter break was over, so were most of my objections. I had stayed with him the entire break, and living together had actually worked. Of course, we basically spent my entire birthday in bed together, so all I could really conclude was that living together wasn't going to complicate our sex life.

.x.x.

After attending my seven am class and getting some breakfast, I made my way back to my dorm room. I normally would have gone back to the music hall to get some practice time in, but I wanted to relax and catch up on some missed sleep. Taking an early morning class along with such a heavy course load in my final semester was a huge mistake. The busy schedule had made sense when I registered for it, as none of my closest friends were going to be on campus that semester, but now the stress was almost unbearable. And the worst part was that it manifested in a daily need to vomit up my breakfast almost as soon as I ate it.

When I reached my room, I locked the door, tossed my jacket and backpack on my desk, and then made a beeline for the bathroom. I quickly pinned as much of my short hair out of my face as I could before the nausea got to be too much. Then I knelt in front of the toilet and threw up until there was nothing left in my stomach to lose.

I stayed where I was for a while, making sure my stomach had settled and that standing up wouldn't make me vomit again. As I walked over to the sink and rinsed my mouth out, removing the clips from my hair in the process, I cursed myself for letting my health go so neglected that I was throwing up every day.

And that's when something awful happened.

As I stood from leaning over the sink to spit, I caught sight of my birth control pills on the counter. I'd been so busy this semester that I hadn't been very good about taking them. I panicked at the thought, but only for a moment. Even though I was on the pill, Yuu and I still used condoms whenever we were together. So even though the symptoms lined up, I knew I wasn't pregnant.

However, on the counter next to the pills was a box of tampons that said differently. I'd bought it at the beginning of the semester and still hadn't touched it. I hadn't had my period in weeks.

Of course, in my panic, I couldn't even remember when my last period was, so that wasn't a very accurate calculation. But that didn't matter. What mattered was the heart stopping conclusion that I had conceived a child.

It only took a moment before I sprang into action. I exited the bathroom, grabbed my coat, and booked it to the gas station down the street. I located what I was after easily enough, though standing there, looking at the convenience store's selection of pregnancy tests, was so terrifying that my knees almost gave out.

Having no clue which brand was best, I grabbed one of each. The guy at the counter made some joke about girls asking their boyfriends to buy things for them, but I wasn't paying enough attention to be insulted. I just wanted to get back to my room as soon as possible and find out whether or not this life-changing thing was truly happening.

I hid the bag in my coat on the way back, I did not want to risk anyone seeing it and learning what was going on. If this was just me panicking and jumping to conclusions, I didn't want to risk losing my cover as a man over it.

Once I was in my room, I spilled the bag out onto my bed. I stared at the little boxes for a moment, but then I jumped right in. I opened up every box and read every set of instructions thoroughly before I began. I wanted to be sure I was taking the tests correctly; I did not want to take any chances with this. My entire future was on the line.

When I was finished, I stared down at the tests in complete shock and disbelief.

They were all positive.


	28. Chapter 27: Valentine's Day

A/N: I was going to post this last week, but then I realized that if I waited a week, I could actually post a chapter about Valentine's Day for Valentine's Day. And timing like that almost never works out for me. So this chapter got delayed a little. ;)

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I stared down at my phone in utter disbelief. I could understand the words in the text, but I just couldn't process them.

-{{ Can't make dinner tonight. Too much homework. See you this weekend. }}-

The batshit crazy Moyashi had canceled our date. On Valentine's Day. She'd made such a big deal over it, mentioning it on every single date for the last month and a half, and now she was canceling it over something as mundane as _homework_. God, that girl was confusing.

Not knowing what else to do, I hit the call button. Maybe actually talking to her would make this less confusing. Surprisingly, she actually picked up. "Hello?"

The cluelessness in her voice was clearly faked, and that only pissed me off more. "What the fuck, Moyashi? You're too busy for _dinner_?"

If I weren't already sure that homework was just an excuse for whatever was really going on, the silence on the other end of the line would have given her away. Sensing that I wouldn't get a truthful answer out of her, I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed. Time to see if reasoning with her logically would work. "Look, you don't have to tell me what's really going on if you don't want to. But these reservations were hard to get and you've been harping on me for weeks about this. It's _Valentine's Day_. You should at least come to dinner with me."

I could almost picture the conflicted look on her face as she stuttered into the phone. Now that I could actually hear her voice, I knew what was really going on: the crazy woman didn't want to tell me that she was on her period. "Come on, Moyashi. It's only going to take an hour, two at most. I knew going into this that you've got an early class, so dinner is literally all I planned. I'm not going to push you out of your comfort zone by making you drink, and I don't expect the date to end in sex. I just want to go out with my girlfriend on Valentine's Day."

That got a reaction out of her. She snorted. "No, you don't. You're not a romantic and you think the holiday is stupid."

"Maybe, but for the first time in our relationship, I can actually afford to take you to an upscale restaurant. I want to take you to the kind of place you deserve-"

The half-muffled squeal of excitement the Moyashi let out was adorable. "You made reservations at _**Ivy?!**_ "

She immediately burst into tears and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at her. _Yep, she's hormonal._ "Are you coming to dinner or not, Moyashi?"

There was silence on her end of the call, but I swore I could hear her hormones arguing with her stomach.

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Dinner last night was wonderful. The food was amazing. Yuu was the perfect date. And it all made me feel even worse about what I'd discovered that morning.

In my defense, I did _try_ to tell him I might be pregnant, but right as I got out, "there's something important," the man at the next table got down on one knee to propose to his date, and we were distracted. Not that I minded. I really didn't want to talk about my potential pregnancy.

The universe was against that however, and I found myself being dragged to the mall for an afternoon out with Lenalee. I hated shopping, but Lenalee was student teaching that semester, so we weren't seeing each other around campus anymore and I missed my best friend. Shopping together was really my only way of hanging out with her.

A couple hours in, we stopped for smoothies, and as we sat together in the food court, it occurred to me that Lenalee might have the answers to some of the issues I was facing. I sighed and fiddled with my mostly empty cup. "Lena, can I ask you something about Kanda?"

The green haired woman shrugged. "Sure, but you're the one who's dating the guy, I'm sure you know him better than I do."

I bit my lip, so nervous about this that it felt like I was going to explode. "Maybe, but you've known him for a lot longer than I have, so you know things that I don't."

"True." She smiled at me. "What's your question?"

I let out a deep breath, trying to calm myself before I spoke. I was terrified of what her answer to my question would be. "What are Kanda's thoughts on children?"

Lenalee choked briefly on her drink. "Oh god. Why on earth do you want to know _that_?" Her flustered look disappeared almost immediately. "Oh, right, never mind. That was a stupid question. You've been dating him for almost three years and you'll be graduating soon. You're trying to decide if you want to continue your relationship out in the real world."

I nodded, not trusting myself to lie convincingly under the circumstances. It was close enough to the truth, I really was doubting the state of my relationship with Kanda, just not in the way she was thinking.

She made a face as she thought. "Well, I don't know the answer to your question for sure, we've never actually talked about it, but I've always thought of Kanda as having a take it or leave it attitude towards kids."

Seeing my confusion, she explained further. "If he ever finds the woman that he wants to spend the rest of his life with and she wants kids, he would do everything he could to be the perfect dad; and if she doesn't want kids, then he would be ok with that too." She smiled knowingly at me. "Basically, he's going to go along with whatever you want to do."

I sighed heavily; that wasn't what I wanted to hear. Though, to be fair, I honestly didn't know what it was that I had wanted to hear; I just knew that it wasn't that. "You think I should tell him."


End file.
